Disclaimers: Sailor Moon and its characters do not belong to me.
Warnings: Self insertions, silliness.
Notes: This is the second of the fashion scouts fics. The first one was written lo those many years ago. ::rereads fic:: Jeez, we were young.

It all started out as a normal day.

Haruka and Michiru had just gotten out of school. Since it was a Friday, which meant that she had the whole weekend to procrastinate on her homework, Haruka suggested that a trip to the arcade was in order. Michiru agreed, deciding that she could use the stress relief. The fruitless search for the Messiah and the constant watch on Hotaru were beginning to wear her down.

They had just arrived in front of the arcade when they heard the voice.

"Haruka! Michiru!"

Both of them turned to look around, but the only other living creature they could see was a small green cat. Wait a minuteŠ Cats aren't supposed to be greenŠ

Seeing that she had their attention, the cat abruptly transformed into a girl in a green sailor fuku with long brown hair, green cat ears, and a tail. She turned to send a pleading stare at the corner of the building behind her. "Someone else get out here, please. I suck at introduction speeches."

Haruka and Michiru stared in disbelief as the girl was joined by several others. There was a girl with short brownish hair in an orange sailor fuku, an Asian girl in a blue fuku with short, dark hair, a very strange looking girl with brown hair in a turqoise fuku, a purple tail, and a purple horn in the middle of her forehead, a girl with wavy brown hair in a purple outfit, and a boy with blue hair, a thick blue jacket, and dark goggles.

"We are the Fashion Scouts!" they all chorused.

"I," said the girl in orange, "am Sailor Carrot!"

"And I am Sailor A.M.O!"(1) cried the Asian girl.

"I'm Sailor Kitty!" said the girl with the green cat ears.

"Sailor Klepto," the girl in purple said simply.

The girl with the horn hefted a heavy looking staff on her shoulder and said, "I am Sailor Dragon!"

"I am Blue Boy!" cried the boy with blue hair.

Haruka looked incredulous while Michiru snickered quietly behind her hand. "Blue Boy?"

The boy looked indignant. "Hey! Don't get on my case! I didn't want to come; they dragged me along!"

"He's our token male," Sailor Kitty explained. "Every group's got to have one."

"Who are you, and what are you doing here?!" Haruka demanded.

"If you're Death Busters who've come to fight," Michiru added, reaching for her henshin stick, "we'll-"

"Oh, no, nothing like that," Sailor Dragon assured her. "We're here on a different mission entirely. Sailor A.M.O., you tell them."

"What? Oh, yeah. We are here to condemn you for your fashion crimes!"

"Fashion crimes?" Michiru asked.

"The pants! The skirt! They hurt my eyes!" wailed Sailor Carrot, covering her eyes and writhing dramatically.

"And you could stand to lose the jacket too," Sailor Kitty said.

"Putting two such good looking people in such ugly clothes is one of the worst fashion crimes imaginable!" cried Sailor A.M.O.

"Wait a minute! Why blame us?" Michiru asked.

"Yeah! It was the school's decision to make us wear these uniforms," Haruka pointed out.

"And who chose to go to that particular school?" Sailor Kitty asked pointedly.

"This crime must be punished!" Sailor A.M.O. yelled.

"Oh no you don't!" cried Haruka. She and Michiru posed dramatically.

Sailor Dragon looked up, and a panicked look crossed her face. "The cherry blossoms! The cherry blossoms are coming!"

"And the pastel lighting!" Sailor Kitty shrank back.

"Quickly! Snorkels on, everyone!" ordered Sailor Carrot.

All of the girls whipped out snorkels and hastily put them on, adjusting the masks over their eyes and fitting the breathing apparatus in their mouths. Blue Boy watched them in confusion. No sooner was the last snorkel in place then they were all engulfed in the whirlwind of cherry blossoms which, very fortunately, didn't go up as high as the tops of the snorkel tubes. Blue Boy, the only one who remained snorkel-less, cried out in alarm and began batting futilely at the petals surrounding him.

Haruka and Michiru held their pose as pastel light surrounded them and a steady stream of cherry blossoms drifted in front of them. They didn't even blink an eye at Blue Boy, who was by now two seconds away from choking. Sailor Kitty was attempting to help him, but without much success. She tried to shout "Run!", but as she still had the mouthpiece in her mouth, it came out sounding more like, "Huhn!"

A flame suddenly came shooting past Haruka and Michiru, breaking their pose. They both turned to glare at Sailor Dragon, who held her still smoking dragon staff pointed at them.

Seeing the that danger had passed, the other Fashion Scouts quickly took off their masks and went to help Sailor Kitty brush cherry petals off of Blue Boy.

"This isn't fair!" Sailor A.M.O. whined. "Last time they didn't put up nearly as much of a fight."

"That's because last time we weren't up against the outer senshi," Sailor Kitty said.

"Quickly," Sailor Carrot ordered Blue Boy. "Release Fluffy!"

"Fluffy!" choked Blue Boy. "But he'll eat all the pants within a twenty foot radius!"

"Duh," Sailor A.M.O. said. "That's why we're here."

"But what if he eats our pants?"

"That's why we're all wearing skirts, dufus," Sailor Klepto said. "All of us except you, and he shouldn't attack you. You're his owner."

Having finally been talking into it, Blue Boy reached into his pocket. When he pulled his hand out, it appeared to be filled with lint. Suddenly, the lint moved, dragging itself out of his hand and out of the pocket. It just kept growing, pulling more and more lint from the pocket until it was huge. Before Haruka could react, part of the lint parted to form a mouth, and the thing jumped on her, swallowing her legs. With an undignified yelp, she went down.

"Haruka!" Michiru cried in alarm. She grabbed Haruka's arms and began to pull, trying to get her partner away from the lint monster. Abruptly, the thing released Haruka, and the two of them fell back onto the pavement. For a moment Haruka just lay on the ground, relishing her newfound freedom. It wasn't until she felt the breeze on her legs that she realized that something was missing.

"My pants!" she cried.

Fluffy burped.

As Blue Boy began stuffing the lint monster back into his pocket, Sailor Klepto stared at Haruka in amazement. "It's a girl," she said, sounding disappointed.

Haruka looked down, realized with relief that she was in fact still wearing underwear, and then tried to cover her blush by glaring at Sailor Klepto. All the other Fashion Scouts sweat dropped.

"Of course she's a girl," Sailor A.M.O. said. "Didn't you know that?"

"But where are all the cute guys?" Sailor Klepto asked.

"Well, there's Motoki," Sailor A.M.O. said dubiously, casting a glance at the nearby arcade.

Sailor Dragon pointed her staff menacingly at Sailor Klepto. "Mine," she said firmly. "Hands off."

Sailor Kitty shook her head in disgust. "Didn't I tell you before we came that you weren't going to find any cute guys while we were here?"

"Well, I guess you didŠ"

"Then if all you wanted was cute guys, why did you come?!"

Sailor Klepto shrugged. "I was bored."

As the discussion was going on, Haruka and Michiru got to their feet and reached for their henshin sticks. Seeing this, Sailor Carrot quickly called the others into action.

"Sailor Klepto! Steal the sticks! If they transform, their normal clothes will disappear and we won't be able to finish our job!"

Sailor Klepto crossed her arms over her rather ample bosom and looked stubborn. "Why should I?" she asked. "There aren't any cute guys here."

"I'll make you double fudge brownies!" Sailor Kitty offered.

There was a flash of purple, and Haruka and Michiru's henshin sticks suddenly disappeared. A few feet to their left, Sailor Klepto slowed down to normal speed, looking down at the sticks in her hand, then back at the two bereft senshi. "Sorry girls," she said. "Nothing personal, but I like my chocolate. You should understand; you're both female."

"Now!" cried Sailor Carrot. "Before they can call the cherry blossoms again! ATTACK!"

Haruka and Michiru were tackled to the ground, and a writhing, thrashing pile of people resulted. Yells of "Ouch!", "Get off of me!", and "Not the hair! Not the hair!" could be heard. Finally, the Fashion Scout emerged triumphant, carrying two jackets, a skirt, a tie and a bow, and leaving Haruka and Michiru sitting on the pavement wearing only their underwear and white undershirts. The pilfered clothing was tossed into a pile, which Sailor Dragon promptly lit on fire with her staff.

"Mission accomplished," Sailor A.M.O. said, looking smug. "OHOHOHOHO!"

Haruka and Michiru winced and covered their ears to try and block out the maniacal laughter. "They're nuts," Haruka whispered. Michiru nodded in agreement.

"No we're not!" Sailor Carrot said indignantly. "We're not insane, we're unsane."

"My mistake," Haruka said sarcastically.

"Is something the matter here?"

Haruka and Michiru looked up joyfully to see Setsuna standing nearby, her garnet eyes calmly taking in the burning clothing, strange scouts, and her two underdressed teammates calmly.

"Setsuna!" cried Sailor Kitty, Sailor Dragon, Sailor A.M.O., and Sailor Carrot.

"Run!" Haruka tried to warn her fellow soldier.

To her utter amazement, the girls didn't attack the time guardian, but instead began to do a sort of we're-not-worthy bow in front of her.

"We bow to your utter coolness," Sailor Kitty said.

Sailor Dragon straightened up with sparkling eyes. "Can I hold the Time Staff? Just for a minute?"

"That's not fair!" protested Sailor A.M.O. "You've already got a staff!"

"No," Setsuna answered.

"Please?" begged Sailor Dragon, ignoring the comments of her fellow scout. "I just want to bop people over the head with it for a minute. I'll give it back."

"The answer is still no," Setsuna said.

Sailor Dragon hung her head dejectedly.

"Hey! Want to come out to lunch with us?" asked Sailor A.M.O. hopefully.

"Yeah, we can talk about biology and stuff!" Sailor Kitty added.

"Science nuts," muttered Blue Boy, and Sailor A.M.O. shivered in agreement.

"Alright," Setsuna agreed.

"Yay!" Sailor Carrot did a weird and wacky victory dance.

"Hey! Wait a minute! What about us?" Haruka called, but the group walked away and ignored her. Sailor Klepto, seeing that her teammates were leaving, shrugged, tossed Haruka and Michiru their henshin sticks, and headed off to join the others.

Michiru and Haruka looked at the departing group, then at each other. "Well, that was weird," Michiru said.

"Could this day get any worse?" Haruka groaned.

She should not have tempted fate, for at that very moment, Usagi, Minako, Makoto, Rei, Ami, and Mamoru walked into view.

"What are you guys doing here?" Usagi asked.

"What happened to your clothes?" Minako added.

"We ran into some people calling themselves 'the Fashion Scouts'," Michiru explained.

Usagi suddenly went pale and clutched her hair protectively.

"I take it then that you've met them?" Michiru asked.

Mamoru looked angry. "If you ever see them again, tell them that they owe me a new tuxedo," he said.

"Trust me," Haruka said. "If I ever see them again, I'll have more than that to say to them. Damn them all! Especially the one in orange!"

In a restaurant somewhere nearby, a girl sneezed.

Owari

(1) For those of you not already aware of this, A.M.O. stands for Anime Male Obsessed.

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