Disclaimer: Hiei belongs to Yoshihiro Togashi, and anyone else that I don't know about.

Hiei was bored. Nothing much was happening. So he decided to go and visit his _alleged_ girlfriend, Mandy. He jumped to the nearest W.S.T.™ to the Weird World. However, Mandy wasn't there. Neither were any of the other seishis, or the Goddess Fred.

"They have school today," Hikaru told him when he inquired.

Ah, yes. School. Hiei had many times heard the girls complaining about it, and after a day of going around with Jean to her classes, he knew why. He also knew where their school was and how to get there, so he decided to go and see Mandy there.

"Wait!" Hikaru called, but Hiei was gone. "I should have warned him," Hikaru said to himself.

Hiei grumbled as he stumbled through the crowded halls of the high school, trying to remember what class Mandy had first period. Not that he wanted to go to school with her, one day of going to school had been more that enough, he just wanted to see her.

"Where's your green?" a voice suddenly asked. Hiei spun round. A tall teenager stood grinning over him.

"Hn?"

"Aren't you wearing green?"

"No!" <Green?> he though. <Why would I be wearing green? Green is Anne's color.>

A sharp pain in his arm jerked him out of his thoughts. The creep had pinched him! Before Hiei could think of a slow and painful way to kill him, the boy left, calling, "Happy St. Paddy's Day!" over his shoulder and laughing.

Hiei was in a _very_ bad mood. Several people had accosted him, asking him where his green was, and, when he said he wasn't wearing any or didn't answer them, pinching him. A ringing bell had put an end to this torment; now the halls were empty.

Hiei had not kept track of how long he wandered in the deserted halls. Before he knew it, the bell had rung again, and he went from being alone to being jostled from every side.

"Hiei!" Jean's voice cut through the noisy crowd.

"Jean!" Hiei called, trying to keep the relief out of his voice. "Am I glad to see you," he muttered.

"You are?!" Jean sounded incredulous. "What are you smoking, and can I have some, because it must be good!" Then, after she looked him over from head to foot, she added, "Where's your green?"

"Hn! What is it with green today?!" Hiei growled. "I have been stopped by no less than seven people who asked me that, then pinched me when I said I wasn't wearing green!"

Anne had joined Jean in time to hear Hiei's lament. "Oh, Hiei," she sighed, "you have the worst luck of anyone I know. Not only do you fall in love with a homicidal maniac like Mandy, but you come to visit her on St. Patrick's Day."

"What's St. Patrick's Day?" Hiei asked.

Jean took up the explanation. "It's a holiday where everyone is supposed to wear green and other people are supposed to pinch them if they don't."

"Hn."

"Anne, translate please."

"He said that we humans have strange holidays," Anne translated.

"Well, Hiei," Jean said, "we have to go, or we'll both be late for second period. Try to stay out of pinching range until we get you some green to wear at lunch time."

"Hn," Hiei replied.

"Oh, and one more thing..." She looked at Anne, an evil gleam in her eyes. "FRESH MEAT!!!!!!!!" she yelled as the two of them pounced on him and pinched him hard. Then they ran off laughing and calling, "Happy St. Patrick's Day!"

Hiei growled. St. Patrick's day was far from happy for him.

Things only got worse for poor Hiei at lunch time.

"AAARRRGGGGGHHH!!!!!! Let me go, woman!!!!!"

"It's for your own good," Anne pointed out. "Stop squirming, you'll mess it up."

<I will not kill her. I will not kill her.> Hiei repeated to himself.

"Anne," Jean panted, "could you please hurry? I don't think I can hold him down much longer!"

"Just a minute, Jean. Stop moving, Hiei!" She clamped her hand over Hiei's mouth, in an attempt to hold his head still, then yelled when he bit her.

"Let go of me, or I'll burn you to a crisp!!" Hiei yelled.

"Finished!" Anne cried triumphantly.

Jean breathed a sigh of relief and released Hiei, who began to scrub at his face. Mandy came walking towards them. He saw her and tried to hide, but she saw.

"AHAHAHAHAHA!! Who drew that shamrock on your face?"

"I did," Anne said. "I was going to draw it on his hands, but they're covered by those bandages, so his cheek was the only place I could draw it.

"Now you have some green on you, so people won't pinch you anymore," Jean pointed out.

"Hn."

Anne glared at him. "The least you could do is thank me for my trouble. I'll probably need to get a rabies shot now," she said looking at the teeth imprint on her hand.

"Hn. I was nice; I didn't break the skin."

"No, but you were trying to."

"Gomen."

Hiei turned to glare at Mandy, who was still snickering. Jean looked thoughtful. "Now what are we going to do with you?" she asked Hiei.

"Hn."

"I guess you'll just have to go to school with us for the rest of the day," Jean said.

"NO WAY!!! Once was bad enough!"

"Hiei, I feel your pain, but you can't spend the rest of your day up a tree. We need to keep an eye on you," Jean replied. "And since I dragged you around with me last time, it's someone else's turn today."

"Stick him with Mary," Mandy suggested.

"Come on, Mandy. Have some pity for the poor guy," Anne said.

"Well, I'm not taking him!" Mandy declared. She and Jean both stared pointedly at Anne.

"I sense implications here," Anne said, shifting uneasily.

"No, really! You think?!" Mandy's reply dripped with sarcasm.

"Come on, Anne. You just have to tough it out for three more periods. That's a lot better than six," Jean told her.

"Does anyone care what I think about all this?" Hiei asked.

"NO!!!"

Hiei grumbled as he followed the cat demon to her last class. Fourth and fifth period had gone okay. Anne had been right; with a green picture on his cheek, everyone had left him alone. He still didn't feel like having a four leafed clover on his face, and (after he had threatened to cut her to ribbons) Anne had agreed to wash it off once school was over.

Her sixth period class was in one of those rooms that had obviously been designed with a science class in mind. The desks seated two people, side by side, and had black surfaces with faucets in the center. Anne conferred with the teacher for a moment, then told Hiei where to sit.

After the bell rang, the teacher stood up to make an announcement. "Since today is St. Patrick's Day and I'm Irish," he began, "I will be patrolling the room to look for people who aren't wearing green. Then I will send my TA to pinch you. Oh, and green bits of paper safety pinned on your shirt or green pictures on your skin don't count"

Hiei shot out of his seat and headed for the door, but before he could get there, Anne grabbed his wrist. "Don't even _think_ about leaving!" she hissed.

"If I stay, I'll get pinched!" he growled back.

Anne's eyes had a dangerous gleam in them. "If you leave," she said slowly, "I'm sure I could evoke my good friend Rapunzel to punish you. A Hiei/Kuwabara lemon should do the trick, don't you think?"

"I don't think she could write a lemon if her life depended on it."

"There has to be a first time for everything," Anne countered.

Hiei's face went several shades paler as he thought of the possibilities.

"Now _sit_!" Anne ordered. Hiei muttered something under his breath that sounded suspiciously like a threat against Rapunzel. However, wary of tempting the wrath of a fanfic writer, he sat down.

Sure enough, while Anne was answering questions out of a book, the TA came by and pinched Hiei. Hiei learned the true meaning of the words clock watching. Hardly a minute went by without him looking at the clock and wishing the bell would ring. Finally, it did

Anne grabbed Hiei by the collar before he could bolt on her again. Though he was annoying her, she still felt sorry for him. "Poor Hiei," she said as she dragged him through the halls to her locker. "A whole school day gone by, and you didn't get to pinch anyone.

Jean had joined Anne now, and she suddenly spoke up with, "You wanted to pinch Mandy, huh?" After Hiei nodded wordlessly, she continued, "You can, you know. Just pull off her green scrunchy, and we'll get her green sweatshirt."

"Um, Jean, she's wearing a green shirt too," Anne said doubtfully.

Jean grinned wickedly. "All the better."

"But Jean, I don't think Mandy wears a bra," Anne added.

Hiei turned to stare at her. "How would you know that?" he asked

Anne went rather red in the face as she mumbled something about girls discussing such things with each other. She realized that if Mandy heard about this current conversation, she would make sure Anne was worse than dead. (Mandy: Anne is most dead. Anne is most dead.)

Jean smacked Anne, warning her to shut up, as Mandy came walking towards them. "So, Anne," the latter said, "did you survive a half a day with Hiei?"

Anne nodded. "Oh, Mandy," she said, shooting a glance at Jean, "would you like me to hold your sweatshirt for you?"

"Sure. Thanks," Mandy said as she handed it to her friend.

"Oh, Mandy, let me fix your hair," Jean cried as she pulled the scrunchy out of Mandy's hair. Mandy was confused, but not yet worried. Hiei, on the other hand, realized what they were planning to do, and he knew Mandy would kill him if he went along with Jean's idea. On the other hand...

Anne and Jean started towing Mandy towards the back of the school, where hardly anyone ever goes. They ignored her protests that she had not been to her locker yet, and pushed her out of sight behind a building. Jean grabbed Hiei and shoved him towards her. "All right," she said. "We got the scrunchy and the sweatshirt, so you get to take the shirt. She's all yours, Hiei!"

"WHAT!!!" Mandy cried in considerable surprise.

"Oh, man, she's going to kill us for this," Anne said gloomily

"It was for a good cause," Jean replied as they walked away.

From behind them, they heard a shout of "PERVERT! CARROT BALL!!!" THOIP!!

Anne sighed. "Are you sure we should have sent poor Hiei to get beat up like that? I almost feel sorry for him."

"Why?" Jean asked. "Mandy will beat him up anyway."

"Yeah, good point," Anne said as the sounds of the Mandy/Hiei battle receded in the distance.

Hiei: I give up! You're all against me!

ME, B. Jeans and Rapunzel: It took you this long to figure that out?!

Rapunzel: Oh, come on Hiei, you're just so much fun to pick on.

Hiei: Hn.

B. Jeans: Speaking of which...(She leans over and whispers something in Rapunzel's ear. Rapunzel's eyes light up with an evil gleam.)

Rapunzel: Hey, I like that idea.

B. Jeans: Good, because I think I'm going to need some help holding him down.

(They start closing in on Hiei.)

Hiei: Uh oh. Am I in trouble?

Rapunzel: Well, that's one way of putting it

Hiei: What are you going to do with me?

B. Jeans: Should we tell him?

Rapunzel: Oh, why not?

(She and B. Jeans each grab one of Hiei's arms.)

B. Jeans: Guess what, Hiei? You're going to get a make-over.

Hiei: NANI!?!?!

Rapunzel: And boy are we going to have fun!

Hiei: (kicking and struggling as they drag him off) NOOOOOOO!!! Let me go!!!! AAAARRRRGGGGGHHHH!!!!