Disclaimer: Yu*Yu*Hakusho (and all its characters) belongs to Yoshihiro Togashi, not the M.P.F. She just borrows 'em for non-profit fun ^_^

"Yipee! School's out for two weeks!" cried Mandy as she jumped out of Dr. Spandex's classroom. She continued on her merry way to her locker to meet up with the rest of her weird world companions.

"Mandy!" cried Jean. "No school, no work, all play!!!" She quickly became SD and hopped around the hallway like she had just won the lottery. All of a sudden "plopping" noises were heard. It sounded like they came from the girls lockers. The two present weirdos proceeded to open the letters in their designated colors. (Blue- Jean, Green- Anne, Orange- Mandy, and Purple- Mary) Their letters read: You are cordially ordered to come to the House of Fred

"Oooh, maybe we're getting a vacation!" dreamed Mandy.

"Kurama time....*drooool*"

Around the corner came the remaining Weird World Guides, Mary and Anne, who were too busy with their conversation, that they took no notice of the sublime faces on their fellow guides.

"And you know what I do?" said Mary with a very bad/corny British/French accent, "I stick my tongue out at them and say, 'I bomb you too'. And when they cut off my tongue, it will not hurt. You know why? Because it's synthetic and it no hur--" Mary tripped over Mandy's clog. Thankfully, she didn't fall, she just ran straight into her locker.

"Itaiiii....." groaned Mary. While the rest of the world was laughing at her Miaka syndrome, she opened her locker to find a purple envelope. "Ooohh, pretty...." Her smile and sparkly eyes soon turned into a frown and grimace as she read her letter. Get your butt to the House of Fred immediatly!

<Darn> she thought. Fred still hadn't forgotten the incident involving Rutherford. <Can't she look past his baldness and see that his hair will grow back?>

"Well girls, it seems Fred needs to see us." said Anne putting her green letter down. She opened a W.S.T.™ and gestured, "Shall we?" In the House of Fred

"I know you guides have two weeks of school off, but that doesn't mean you have two weeks vacation off here!" Fred dictated to the girls. "You've had it east for a while with Bordem out of town, but now that he's back, I've learned he's planning something big-- the demise of the Weird World..."

"When doesn't he?" Mary whispered to Jean. They both giggled.

"...I want you to take him out-- permanently." Fred stared at Jean. It seems that Fred forgets nothing involving her honor, reputation, one true love or her life. Jean gulped. "I've learned he's spending time at your "Spring Fest" today. Get him and report to me by the end of tonight. Now go."

The four guides walked out into the waiting room of the Hall of Fred and hopped a W.S.T.™ back to school. Spring Fest 2000

"Man, I thought we'd get two weeks off." whined Mandy. "And now I have to go to the Spring Fest. Sheesh, this gets worse by the minute. What happens next?" As if to piss Mandy off purposfully, the Gods decided it was time for it to rain. "Perfect."

"Oh Mandy, you're such a party pooper!" cried Jean.

"Yeah, get with it. Loosen up, Mandy, have fun!" yelled Mary as she twirled in the rain. It looked like she was having fun until she bumped into someone-- knocking both persons involved to the ground.

"Oh, I'm terribly, terribly sorry," she looked at the face of the body she had landed on, and cringed, "Bordem..." Mary couldn't moce, she was in a position she thought she'd never be in-- on top of Bordem.

"Well, Mary," sang Bordem, "care to do anything while we're down here?"

Mary was disgusted with his offer, of course! But she decided to put her rusty skills to use. She put her left arm behind her back and crossed her fingers to let her friends know what was going down. Mandy got thoroughly disgusted just by the thought of the future and decided she needed some carrots.

Playing it cool, Mary spoke with her most seducing voice, "Why, yes there is, Bordem." She cooed as she crawled farther up his body. "I've never found the way to express my feelings for you, and now," she brushed his cheek with her fingers, "I think I know exactly how..." Bordem smiled as Mary's face came closer to his. But his smile soon turned into a grimace as Mary's knee came in contact with his little trooper. She whispered in his ear, "You were expecting something else?" she laughed and got up from the ground. On the side lines, Jean burst out laughing, where as both Anne and Mary giggled quitely to themselves.

"Shouldn't we collect him?" asked the responsible guide..

"Later." Jean and Mary said in unison, "We aught to go off in search of a certain carrot demon we all know and love...."

At the Freshman Class Council Booth

"How 'bout you give me all the carrots and I'll leave you alone for the rest of your life."

"How 'bout you pay me for them."

"How 'bout not." Mandy was obviously upset. She hadn't had a carrot in over three hours- NOT a good thing. Thankfully for Parrot boy, the girl quartet (minus one) found their missing companion before she could carrot bomb him to hell and back.

"Mandy, you know we aren't supposed to use our powers in front of people, it could very well be the end of weirdness as we know it!" scolded an over-dramatic Anne. "Plus, Hikaru informed me Parrot boy works for Bordem Hoggie!"

"BUT I WANT MY CARROTS!!!" pouted Mandy.

"Mary, go take care of that," asked Jean.

"Sure thing boss!" she said mimicing Curly (one of the 3 Stooges!!). Mary trotted over to the booth and began to flirt with Parrot boy for the carrots.

Mandy was once again disgusted with Mary and her flirtatous attitude. "But she gets to use her powers in front of people! It's not fair!!!" Mandy began her tempter tantrum, threw herself to the ground in SD mode and began to cry/pout/yell/etc (think of Hitler when Chamberlain didn't want to give him the Sudetenland. And then think what happened after Hitler's tantrum). Then a two pound bag of Bunny Love carrots fell from the sky and landed next to the carrot demon's head.

"Even if they're used to get you carrots?" asked Mary.

Without answering, Mandy sat up and began to greedily eat her carrots. She obviously wasn't going to dignify her with an answer.

"So," interupted Anne, "what should we do now? Personally, wandering suits me just fine."

"Carrots," mumbled Mandy inbetween bites.

"Boxing!"

"Massage Parlor!"

"Oi vey! Alright, since we all want different things, as usuall, we'll go our seperate ways and meet up here at 4:00 p.m., okay?" Seeing as how it was 3:30, Jean and Mary wanted more time to explore, so the new agreed time became 4:30. Finally, the girls went their seperate ways. Mandy and Anne's adventure

"So, Mandy, are you up for a little wandering?"

"Mrph...carrots...mrph....wandering...mrph....okay," Mandy managed to get out inbetween carrots.

"Okay, wandering it is!" Anne piped cheerfully. After all, wandering is what Annes do best! Mary's adventure

"Howdy Aaron!"

"Hello Mary, What can I do for you?"

"Massage!"

"Alrighty, but Nathaniel's tied up at the moment-"

"That's okay, I'll take Emily. It's not everyday you get a massage by a star." Mary smiled.

"Oh, why thank you darling, it's not everyday someone wants me over Nathaniel," said Emily.

"I know! What was I thinking?" Both girls laughed as Emily gave Mary a massage. Jean's adventure

"GO YOUNG!! SQUASH HIM LIKE THE BUG THAT HE IS!!" screamed Jean. She was watching Young and Bordem fight in the ring. So far neither appeared to be winning, much to Jean's disappointment.

"So, are we partial to anyone today?" asked Benji in his usual friendly yet sarcastically monotone voice.

"Young! And you?" snapped Jean. Benji, hurt by the tone in her voice, quietly drifted to another side of the ring to watch his buds in the ring. <Oh gosh, I should really go apologize. That was quite rude of me. Oh, darn....now I feel bad...> "GO YOUNG!!!!!"

4:30 p.m. Meeting Time

Jean tapped her foot impatiently <Where is Mary?>. She wasn't the only one upset. Anne had that worried/disappointed look on her face, while Mandy angerly ate her carrots. <Yes, there are still quite a few left>

"Why don't we go find her, she can't be that hard to find." Anne said as she surveyed the area. "Besides, we can--" she stared in disbelief as she laid eyes upon the longest line she'd seen all day. She looked closer at the name of the booth...<Oh God...>. It was the Massage Parlor. "Found her." Anne choked out.

Massage Parlor: Booming Business

As the three girls approached the Massage Booth, they heard a familiar voice saying, "Get massages, hand jobs, 2 tickets for 5 minutes!!"

"Hey!" cried Mandy, "It's my lawyer!" She pointed to the tall blond boy often refered to by other sophomores as "Mary's little brother."

"Hey Jack, what are you doing here?" asked Jean, "and where's Charlie?"

"Charlie? He went home. And I'm reeping in the cash." said Jack greedily.

"Jack!" a girl's voice yelled. "We're NOT getting paid to be here." She paused and screamed, "NEXT!"

"What?" said Jack, "Not paid? Then I'm outta here!" Jack walked past the trio. The girls inched closer to see if Mary really was in the booth. As a matter of fact, instead of recieving a massage from a hot senior <Nathaniel>, she was giving a massage to a hot junior! <Author's note: he called me his goddess *blush*> At that moment Jean was wishing she was in Mary's place. That's how drool worthy he was.

"Mary," said Anne. "MARY!!!" The blissfully happy girl came out of her 'coma' and turned her attention to her friends.

"Hiya guys! What are you doing here?"

Anne, Mandy and Jean all pointed to their watches. "4:30. Remember?" Mary, shocked time had gone by so fast (it does that when you're having fun, don't you just hate that!), looked at her watch and let out an "Oopsie daisy...".

"So what now?" asked Mary.

"Well, according to Fred, we need to catch Bordem. Any plans since we let him go before?" This took a great deal of time and emmense concentration on the girl's part, but the hot junior getting the massage from Mary certainly enjoyed her concentration. ^.~

"I've got it!" declared Jean. "We get him to get a massage, Mary'll do her thing and we'll bag the hog!"

"Brilliant." Mandy said sarcastically. "But one question. How do we get her away from God boy?" They thought and thought and thought- blackmail was the way they decided to go about things.

Mary's response to her 'friends' blackmail was nothing short of "No fair!", "You're mean!" and "I'll get you my pretties! And your little cats too!" The conspirators saw these as empty threats and moved on to stage two. (Or is that stage three?)

God knows how the trio got Mary away from 'God boy' even with her friends blackmailing her--- but it probably involved Anne, Mandy and Jean dragging her to where Bordem Hoggie was.

"Hey Bordem! Mary has something she'd like to say to you!" screamed Jean.

The boy hog came wadling over. Still hurting from his last meeting, he was reluctant to get too close to Mary.

Anne and Mandy smiled nonthreatning like while Jean elbowed Mary in the stomach, hard.

"Do it!" she whispered. " OR ELSE!!!"

Mary came forward in her tight jeans and black spaghetti top. She slowly made her way to Bordem.

"Bordem, I'm terribly sorry that I kneed you. And I was wondering if I could make it up to you by giving you a massage?" Mary slowly made it all the way to Bordem and she gave him her best "I'm sorry" face. It seemed to work because he agreed to the massage after a few quick seconds.

The quartet of girls led the dreaded Bordem Hoggie to the bleachers, where it was quiet and secluded enough.

When Mary held out hand cuffs, a blind fold and a rope, Bordem thought he was going to have the sexual experience of his life. And when she gave the items to Mandy, Anne and Jean, he thought it was going to be the kinkiest too.

He wasn't to far off. While Mary was busy seducing him (against her will!), Anne gagged him with the blind fold, Mandy hand-cuffed him and Jean hog-tied him. How this was accomplished only the quartet knows. But instead of roasting the hog, they brought him to the House of Fred to let their Goddess and employer deal with him.

The Goddess Fred was so pleased with their work (not to mention the way they captured him), she gave her guides a Spring Vacation.