These characters belong to Yu Watase; they do not belong to me. So do not sue me, I spent all my money buying a Fushigi Yûgi video.

Chapter One: Fred gets stood up

"WHAT? I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS!!!!!" the almighty goddess of weird started to scream in her office and threw a book against the wall, "Secretary, bring in my guides!"

"You rang?" Mandy, Anne and Jean popped in. Fred took a couple of deep breaths and sat down to calm herself.

"What's up?" Mandy asked, "We could hear you screaming from a mile away."

"Just LOOK at that book!" she pointed, starting to have another orgasim.

Anne crept over and read the cover out loud, "The Universe of the Four Gods, translated by Moderob Eiggoh? I didn't know that you could read Japanese."

"I can't but there's an English translation in the book," Fred looked quite annoyed, "That's not the reason I'm mad."

Mandy took the book and flipped through it, "Hey it doesn't say anything about you!"

"THAT'S why I'm mad!" she wailed, "The author doesn't mention anything about me!"

"Well that's because that title is all wrong," Jean pointed out, "The original title is Shijin Tenchi Sho, the Four Gods of Heaven and Earth. Wait a sec, the actual translation was written by Einosuke Okuda!"

"How do you know all of this?" Anne asked her.

"Because I'm the biggest otaku in the weird word!" Jean got into one of those samurai poses as cherry blossoms began to shower around her.

"Oh, that's why."

"THAT'S NOT IMPORTANT!" Fred shouted, "WHAT'S REALLY IMPORTANT IS GETTING TO WHEREVER THE SETTING IS AND RESTORE MY HONOR! NOW GO!!!!"

"Fred, calm down!" Jean patted her employer's shoulder, "According to the book, a god/goddess must have seven seishi or holy warriors with some kind of mark on their bodies. Not to mention you need a priestess."

"Wait!" Mandy suddenly shouted, "Moderob Eiggoh spelled backward spells Boredom Hoggie! He must have changed the book!"

"OH HOHOHOHOHO!!!! SO YOU FOUND OUT ABOUT MY PLAN!!!!!!!!!"

Everyone glared at Jean.

"That wasn't me, it was somebody else!"

Boredom Hoggie appeared and laughed some more.

"HEY!" Jean shouted, "That's my laugh, it's copyrighted and patented!"

"Too bad," he blew a big, nasty raspberry, "Catch me if you can, wench!" SWISH! He disappeared into the book. Fred let his comment sink into her head before she began to thrash around her office like a maniac. The three guides just waited until she finished since they had found out the hard way that it was deadly to interfere with an angry goddess. When she finished her outburst, Fred sat back down in her chair and took a couple of breaths, "I'm demoting you three, Mary, Stephanie, Adrienne and Erin into holy warriors."

"WHAT?!?!?!?!" Anne and Mandy started to scream as Jean started to think about the advantage of being a holy warrior. Hmm, Mandy and Anne always get the action as a guides. Not to mention since they're going into the book, she would get to meet that super cute, potty-mouthed, pyromaniac warrior of Suzaku, Tasuki.

"OKAY! YOU'VE GOT YOURSELF A DEAL!!!!!" Jean swung around and landed cleanly on Fred's desk, "Rest assure goddess, that your honor will be restored!"

"Okay then," she nodded and started chanting some weird words. FLASH! A carrot mark appeared on Mandy's forehead, a cucumber appeared on Jean's wrist and a corn appeared on Anne's shoulder.

"Cool! You have excellent taste Fred!" Mandy jumped up and down, admiring her carrot mark in the mirror.

Fred acknowledged that complement, "Stephanie has a potato, Adrienne has a avocado, Erin has a tomato and Mary has an onion." Suddenly, the four of them heard stomps, "Oh here they come now."

"FRED!!!!!!" the four other guides stomped into her office, "YOU HAVE SOME SERIOUS EXPLAINING TO DO!!!!!!!!!"

"Why do I have a potato on my ankle?" Stephanie asked.

"Why do I have a avocado on my thigh?" Adrienne visibly steamed.

"Why do I have an onion on my neck?" Mary wailed.

"Why do I have a tomato on my ASS?" Erin shrieked.

Fred tried to look innocent as the other three guides stared at her, "Oh, okay. Now that tomato is on your forearm."

"I don't even want that tomato on my body!!!!" Erin shouted some more.

"Well, it's better that being on your booty isn't it?" Fred shouted back and explained the whole story to all the other guides turned holy warriors.

"You still need a priestess," Jean pointed out.

Fred put her feet up on the desk, "Oh that's not important. I'll just call up a friend of mine and ask him if you could work with his seishis."

"The Suzaku?" Jean asked hopefully as Fred nodded, "But don't we need a Chinese character instead of vegetables and fruit?"

"If I did that, then I wouldn't be known as the goddess of weird," she explained, "Besides, I don't know how to write in Chinese."

"Oh."

"Hold on aren't avocados and tomatoes fruit?" Adrienne asked.

"Yeah, I think so," Fred scratched her head, "Although I could be wrong."

"DOES THAT REALLY MATTER?!?!?!?!?" Erin shouted.

Jean changes into her fic writer form, "If you don't stop complaining right now, I'm going to change YOU into a tomato and grind you into ketchup!"

"Eep!" Erin quickly shut her mouth and hid behind Mary.

"OHHOHOHOHOHOHO~!!!!!!" Blue Jeans laughed.

"Did the atomic bomb land yet?" Mandy asked removing her earplugs.

"Huh?"

"Tamahome?" Miaka turned to him.

"Miaka, what is it?"

"Wo ai ni."

Tamahome's eyes started to sparkle as he drew Miaka close to him. The other seishies (except Hotohori) smiled and looked away. It's a beautiful moment.

"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!"

Correction, it WAS a beautiful moment. Three girls came in on spatulas and a broom while four others just fell through and was about to squished into the ground. Hotohori, Tamahome, Chichiri and Mitsukake leaped into action and each caught one of those four girls.

"Weird hairdo dude," Stephanie said to Chichiri.

"Mandy, I thought the W.S.T. was supposed to be nearer to the earth," Adrienne shouted from Hotohori's arms.

"Well, how was I supposed to know where it is every second of the day?" Mandy shot back.

"Wow, you're Tasuki right?" Jean zoomed up to his face.

"Hey who the @#$% are you and don't get so @#$%-ing close!" Tasuki backed away from her.

Jean's eyes grew super sparkly, "Wow, you're even cuter in person, can I please have your autograph?"

"Umm, (blush), I guess so," Tasuki quickly signed the book and shoved it away. Jean sighed, still sparkly-eyed and in SD mode.

" Jean, shouldn't we introduce ourselves?" Erin asked, paying no attention to the gorgeous seishi whom just saved her life.

"Oh yeah," Jean let him go as Tasuki fell to the ground gasping for breath, "Anyway, I'm Jean, a former guide now holy warrior/seishi for the weird world. I'm from a special alien race which have no name yet, but people keep on saying that I'm a rabbit demon." Jean demonstrated by summoning an aura of her ki and two ears popped out.

"Glory hog," Mandy muttered, "I'm Mandy, the weirdest of all the weird world seishis, I love carrots, orange and bashing Boredom Hoggie's skull in. My powers are summoning carrots as weapons and I'm the only carrot demon in all the dimensions!"

"Mandy this isn't the Dating Game," Anne rolled her eyes, "I'm Anne, Anne with an E, not just A-n-n. I'm a cat demon and I have the power to change our shape."

"This is not a spelling bee, Anne," Adrienne sighed, "Anyway, I'm Adrienne, I can hypnotize people with a special piccolo, watch," she blew a couple tones into the piccolo and made Tasuki do the Macarina.

"STOP THAT YOU @#$%-ING *OTHER WORD FOR FEMALE DOG!!!" he shouted at her.

"That's vixen, actually," she corrected swinging her long red tail and showing off her pointy ears.

"My name is Mary," Mary grinned, "My special power is super speed, seducing and thievery!!!" To prove her point, she ran around the group a couple times.

"Hey, where's my money pouch?!" Tamahome shouted dropping Erin, "You've got to teach me how to do that!"

"Amazing, no da!" Chichiri sighed.

"I'm Stephanie, I'm a fairy in disguise," she grinned as blue, silver butterfly wings and a wand appeared, "Bibbidi, bobbadi, boo!"

In a flash, Nuriko was enlaced in silk, lace and glass slippers, "Ooh! What, hey!" In another flash, they disappeared.

"I forgot to mention that I'm an evil fairy," Stephanie grinned.

"Steph, Fred's gonna get mad at you for messing around with the natives," Erin shook her finger, "Anyway, I'm Erin, I'm not sure what my powers are since the author wasn't sure what to give me yet." (Hey, I changed your veggie/fruit for you didn't I? Steph also wanted a tomato-

Blue Jeans)

"Okay, intros made," Mandy muttered using a checklist, "And let's see, oh yeah!" she put the list back in hammer space, "We need some help from you guys, you see, our employer, the head honcho of the weird world, her Wackiness, the big cheese of the submarine sandwich..."

(Mandy goes on and on while the others sip tea)

"She's just going on and on!" Anne sighed putting in a little sugar.

(Hey, didn't I just say that?)

"It's all that speech making," Steph quoted from Gourrigan's Island.

"Passionate speech making," Erin added.

"She's read too many fics about the irie rasta mon and gyrating half-naked native dancing girls," Jean said.

"WHAT?!?!?!?!"

"You guys weren't there. And don't make me get started on searching for Xelloss's missing shaker of salt and the Funky Fruit either."

"That's from the Queen of Swords, isn't it?" Adrienne asked.

"Hey, Tasuki," Mary turned to him, "Didn't you boff her or something?"

"IT WAS A @#$% -ING FIC PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!" he shouted, "AND NO I DIDN'T @#$%-ing BOFF HER!!!!!!!!"

"But wasn't it in real for a day?" Erin asked.

"They're probably just good friends who satisfy their 'ahem' needs like Xelloss," Jean pointed out.

Tasuki started banging his head against the mahogany tea table, "No, no, no, no!"

"Please don't head bang on my table Tasuki," Steph sighed.

"That's supposed to be bad for your brain, isn't it?" Anne asked.

"IS ANYBODY LISTENING TO ME?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?" Mandy shouted into her huge bullhorn. The seishis and Miaka flew away with the breeze as the weird seishis held up their tea to be cooled.

"Anyway," Mandy began again as the normal (well, they're normal compared to us) people sat up, "Our employer, Fred the Goddess of Weird was supposed to be in this book, the Tenchi Muyo something or the

other..."

"It's really Shinjin Tenchi Sho," Jean corrected, "Tenchi Muyo is an anime!"

"Oh, I watched that!" Miaka exclaimed, "It's that one where all those aliens come down and get a crush on that Tenchi Masaki guy!"

"The TV series or the OAV?"

"Umm, both I think."

"Getting back on the subject," Mandy interrupted forming a Carrot Ball. Everyone suddenly gave her his or her undivided attention, "An evil, evil Communist demon named Boredom Hoggie..."

"I thought he was a Republican," Mary interrupted.

"Oh yeah!"

"They certainly like interrupting that orange girl a lot," Chichiri whispered to Hotohori.

"Maybe that's part of her personality," Hotohori whispered back. THOIP!!!!!! Mandy nonchalantly threw the Carrot Ball at him and Hotohori immediately turned into a carrot.

"Orange is a good look for him," Anne remarked.

"But orange is such, such a fashion crime!" Nuriko gasped, "I will not have MY man turned into a disgusting, bright..." THOIP!!!!!! I think you guys know what happened.

"Anyway, " Mandy began again, "Boredom Hoggie did something to this book and now Fred's not even mention. All seven of us used to be guides for the Weird World but we got demoted to seishies. She sent us to hunt down Boredom Hoggie."

"And where do we come in?" Hotohori asked.

"The Suzaku is a close friend of Fred's," Jean explained, "And they decided that we should work together."

"I ain't working with no women!" Tasuki said firmly.

"You work with the Miko and she's a woman," Jean teased. Tasuki grunted and looked away. "What a cute sound," Jean sighed as he started to blush.

"Hey, it's getting dark, time to turn in," Mary sighed as the night sky grew from orange to deep, dark blue.

"MOI?! Sleep in the dirt?" Erin shook her head disapprovingly, "Let me handle this, DIMENSIONAL HOUSE!!!!!" POOF! A large house appeared in front of them.

"I know what my power is," Erin grinned, "I can pull ANYTHING from other dimensions!"

The seven weird girls and Miaka ran in as the men gawked at the house. Chiriko, not wanting to sleep outside, followed them in, then Nuriko, Hotohori, Mitsukake, Tamahome, and finally, Tasuki.

"Probably gonna be all pink and smell like perfume," he mumbled.

"If it did, the I wouldn't be living in it," Steph glared at him. Tasuki was very wrong, all the furniture and decorations were very modern and in shades of white and black.

"Okay, we have two large bedrooms, a large bathroom, living room, kitchen and dining room," Erin announced.

"DIBS!!!!!!!!!!" all the girls shouted and ran into the deluxe bathroom.

"Is it just me or is Miaka starting to act like those girls?" Nuriko asked.

"C'mon, Nuriko, you don't want to wash with the smelly boys do you?" Mary asked pulling him in.

"Huh? Hey wait a sec, Nuriko's a..." Tamahome tried to warn them. BAM!!!!!!, "...a guy..."

"EEK!!!!! Mary, why did you bring Nuriko in here!" Jean shrieked and covered herself with a towel.

"That's not nice Jean!" Adrienne said.

"It's not that I don't like Nuriko, but he's a guy!!!!" Jean protested.

"She's right, Nuriko's a boy," Miaka stood up.

Nuriko blushed as the rest of the weird seishi zoomed over to him and started patting his chest.

"Wow, no GIRL is this flat!" Anne exclaimed, "Well, except for Mandy."

"Thanks for making me feel unsure of my own sexuality," Mandy muttered.

"Mandy's a girl?" Nuriko raised his eyebrow.

"If I wasn't then what am I doing here?"

"Umm, people, if we're through feeling up on him, we better send him out," Jean interrupted, "Or do you want him to see us naked?"

"EEK!!!!! PERVERT!!!!!!!!!" all the girls kicked him out.

"I tried to warn them," Tamahome sighed.

"I just don't understand women," Hotohori sighed.

"Me either. Hey, Nuriko, which chick had the most killer bod?" Tasuki shouted.

"PERVERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" a bar of soap was flung out of the bathroom and landed right in Tasuki's mouth.

"I should turn that guy into a toad or something," Steph sighed.

"Ugh! Jean, I can't believe you like such a pervert!" Mary gave her friend a look.

"Takes one to know one!" she shot back.

Mary blushed and didn't say anything as she brushed out Miaka's hair.

Tasuki stuck his head in the girls' bedroom, "Hello? We men want food, now!"

"Cook it yourself," Anne yawned from her bed.

"Yeah, we're tired," Adrienne was curled up with her tail wrapped around her.

"Oh fine, I'll cook," Jean stood up and walked out of the room, "How does curry rice sound?"

"Sounds great, I'm starved!" Erin stood up.

"Me too, make lots!" Steph stopped brushing her hair.

"Wait, I thought you guys weren't going to eat!"

"We said that we didn't want to cook, not eat!" Mary grinned.

"Gee thanks, so who's gonna help me?" Jean asked warily.

"One of the men."

She trudged outside as the men sat on chairs in the living room, "So, who's gonna help me cook?"

"Cooking is a woman's job," Hotohori said not looking up from a magazine.

"You look like a girl yourself!" Jean shot back and grabbed Tasuki, "Come and help me!"

"Hey leggo of my ear!" he yelped as she dragged him towards the kitchen.

"Aww, man, why do I have to help?" he whined as Jean pulled her hair back in a ponytail.

Jean just gave him a smile and started washing the veggies while Tasuki, still grumbling, filled up the pan with water and set it on the stove. Then, he started to peel all of them.

"Oh, you don't need to do that. Hai ya!" Jean yelled, threw the veggies in the air, twirled her knife around her fingers and poof! All the veggies landed, cut and peeled, on a frying pan.

"@#$%!" Tasuki exclaimed, not knowing what else to say.

She grinned, "Can you start frying the veggies, while I'll cook the rice?"

He looked at the frying pan and yelled, "LEKKA SHIEN!!!!!!"

Jean, startled, looked up and saw the veggies fried perfectly.

"Veggies are done," he smirked and started to walk out of the kitchen.

"Wait!" she grabbed the corner of his apron. He spun around, "Thank you, can you please set the table before you go?" she asked, giving him her oh-so-cute/kawaii-smile.

He nodded awkwardly and reached for the cups and plates. As he started setting the table, he felt a tap on his shoulder. It was Tamahome.

"Heeeyy, Tasuki," he peered over Tasuki's shoulder. "Whatcha doing? Setting the table? Since when did you do that?"

"Get yer hand offa me," Tasuki growled, still setting up the table.Tamahome grinned and wrapped him firmly in a headlock, "Say it, man! Say that you love women!!!!"

"I DON'T LOVE THAT AIRHEAD!!!!!!!!!!" Tasuki shouted, "I don't even like her, she's a pain in the padded ass!"

"Well thanks for telling me!"

Both men came back to their senses and whipped around to see Jean, smiling tightly and holding the pot of curry.

"Here," she put the pot on the table, "Just help yourselves and don't bother save anything for me, I'm, I'm not hungry..." she threw off her apron and ran out the door.

"Look what you did you idiot!" Tamahome yelled at Tasuki.

"Wha? You're the one that made me say that!"

"Since when?"

Tasuki growled and went after her. Tamahome sighed, "Oh well, more curry for me."

After flying on her broom for awhile, Jean landed near a lake. She sat down on a rock and started to think. Soon, after she started, she ended when a cool breeze ruffled the folds of her kimono and flew through her hair. The ribbon had come loose and fell off completely when she flew away from the house. <Why oh why didn't I grab a jacket to be prepared for this freezing weather? Jean thought shivering.

"Damn, where the hell did that chick run off to?" she heard Tasuki's voice shout.

<Did he come after me?> She wondered, <Well, screw that, I'm not gonna talk to him! > While she was thinking about something mean and nasty to say to him if he found her, Jean felt something grab her leg and with a startled yelp, she was pulled underwater.

Tasuki ran over to where he heard the scream and saw the broom. Without another thought, he stripped down to his boxers and dived into the water.

Jean was getting pulled deeper and deeper but managed to kick free of what kept her under. It was a mer-hog-man, one of the poor people who worked for Bordom Hoggie. It was hard to move around in the kimono, so she ripped the skirt and tried to swim back up to the surface. The mer-hog managed to intercept her and threw Jean to the bottom of the lake. Jean was beginning to lose all the air in her lungs as the mer-hog shot needles from the spine on his back (you know, like Nooza did). <I only have one chance to get this right, if I don't then I'm

done for, she thought as the rest of her kimono was ripped away from her body. Jean started revving up for her most powerful attack, the Golden Ki Dragon Wave just as Tasuki swam in and started wrestling with the mer-hog. When the time was just right, she summoned the dragon and made it have a nice piece of meat. Jean lost all her air as the last thing she saw was a strange golden castle and Tasuki's worried face.

Tasuki grabbed her limp body and swam to the surface as fast as he could. Quickly, her wrapped her in his cloak and did CPR. Jean started coughing and spitted out water.

"Tasuki?" she whispered weakly, "I thought you couldn't swim for

beans."

"Huh?" he thought a moment, "Well, I umm, I well, heh, heh..."

"Thank you!" joy surged through Jean's tired limbs as she threw her arms around the startled Tasuki's neck, "WAAAAAAHHHH~!!!!!!! I WAS SO SCARED!!!!!!!!"

"Huh? Hey, wait a sec, I'm..." he forgot what to say as she snuggled closer to him.

The cloak fell off (it fell off by accident, I swear!) He blushed at the thought of what part of her body was toughing his (well, she wasn't completely naked, she still had her bra and panties intact). For some strange reason, Jean didn't let go of him, and Tasuki felt her stroke his cheek, then his neck until he felt soft lips press his own. That moment, all his thoughts about hating women flew out of his head as he kissed her back.

"Ouch!" she squeaked playfully as his fangs grazed her tongue. That brought both of them to their senses as they laughed nervously and Tasuki lent her his cloak to wear for the time being.

"Here, climb on," Jean picked up the broom. He hesitantly climbed on and wrapped his arms around her waist.

"@#$%!" he yelped as they flew into the air, "Oh, sorry, @#$%-en reflexes. Oops, uh, sorry about..."

"I don't mind, just don't say that around Mandy, you'll hurt her innocent ears," she smiled and snuggled closer to him.

They rode back in silence and landed outside of the house. All the lights were out as the two of them snuck in.

"Great friends huh?" Jean joked.

"They didn't even leave any curry for us, those @#$%-ers!" Tasuki grinned.

"I'll go and make some, after I get some dry clothes on," she winked and walked upstairs.

"Looks like they're all asleep," she sighed as she washed the dishes. Tasuki just smiled and nodded. After the dishes were done, the two of them settled on the couch to watch a movie.

"Better not be anything mushy," he mumbled.

Jean heard that, "Nope, one of my favorites, Mortal Kombat!"

Tasuki enjoyed the movie; it was filled with martial arts action and adventure. He especially enjoyed Sonya Blade's outfit.

"Man, check out those @#$%-ing killer hooters!" he cheered as she appeared in her infamous spandex costume.

"Oh thanks," Jean rolled her eyes, "Ooh, check out those muscles on Johnny Cage, now how come you can't look like that?"

"HEY!!!!!" before he could say another word, she snuggled closer to him and smiled sweetly.

"Don't worry, I like you best out of the two of you," she whispered into his ear.

Tasuki began to try to kiss every square inch of her skin. He gently pushed her down until he was lying on top of her. DING DONG~!!!!!!!!

"Who the @#$% can that be at this time," he growled and sat up.

Jean giggled, gave him a quick kiss on the cheek and opened the door, "Hikaru? What are you doing here?"

The cat demon grinned and stepped into the house. Tasuki glared at him.

"So, where's Anne?" he asked, looking around the house.

"Oh, everyone's asleep," she answered and led him to the couch.

"And you and fang boy's aren't? Getting a little Jack Horny I suppose."

"One more crack out of you girlie, you're gonna dance with Tasuki's tessen," he growled.

"Girlie?" Hikaru raised an eyebrow.

"Tasuki," Jean patted his arm soothingly, "Hikaru's a guy."

"Yeah and next thing you're gonna tell me that Mandy's a girl."

"She is."

"Oh..."

Jean sighed, "I'll go wake them up."

"Nope, I'll go," Hikaru grinned, "And wake Sleeping Princess Anne with a kiss!"

"Hikaru wait!" Jean tried to warn him as he slipped into the girls' room, "That's Steph's bed..."

"GAAAAAAAAKKKKKK!" Steph shrieked, "ABRA KADBRA!!!!!!!!!!"With a sparkle of blue powder, standing where Hikaru had been, there was a little frog. Huffing, Steph chased the poor frog around with her wand, now transformed into a huge wooden mallet, "You pervert, these lips are reserved for Chris!!!!!! DIE!!!!"

"Steph, stop it, that's Hikaru!" Jean yelped and scooped up him up before he was turned into road kill.

"Hikaru? Where?" Anne sat up and looked around, "YEW!!!! KILL THAT FROG!!!!!!"

The frog started to whimper and tears started to come out of its little froggie eyes.

"Anne, that's mean, you hurt the frog's feelings!" Adrienne exclaimed.

Snore, said Erin.

"I think that frog's pretty cute, it's just the wrong shade of green," Mary remarked.

"It doesn't matter!" Jean practically shouted as Miaka and Erin was startled awake, "This frog is Hikaru, Steph turned him into a frog when he accidentally kissed her!"

"Gak, no wonder I have a furball in my mouth," Steph gagged as Anne and Hikaru glared at her.

"So how do we make Hikaru or whatever turn back to normal?" Mandy asked, restraining Anne from trying to kill Steph.

"Oh, kiss him, but!" Steph wiggled her finger. "The kisser needs to be a guy."

"WHAT?!?!?!?!?!" everybody shouted.

"Hey, I've got a reputation to keep up," she merely shrugged, "Maybe Nuriko would kiss him."

The frog turned pale and started shaking his head no.

"That's the perfect shade of green," Mary clapped her hands with delight.

"Well, let's go wake the men up." Miaka sighed.

"Don't bother," Tamahome yawned and stepped into the room as everyone else followed.

"Hey Nuriko!" Jean shouted and he looked up, "Here we go!" she threw Hikaru and did a weird and wacky dance when the frog and the boy/girl seishi touched lips.

"EWWW YUCK!!!!!!!" Nuriko ran into the bathroom and rinsed his mouth out.

"Ugh, I KISSED A MAN!!!!!" Hikaru gagged and fell over onto his side, "YUCK, GROSS, NASTY, mph!" Anne shut him up with a kiss. Mandy fell on her side, snorting with laughter.

When everyone calmed down, they all gathered around the living room and Hikaru explained what he was doing here.

"Fred called me up and told me that in order to keep up the plot of the stories, the weird seishis need a Miko," he started.

"It sort of makes sense," Erin said thoughtfully, "Look at the Suzaku seishis, they're all men and the Miko is a woman."

"Erin, Miko means Priestess," Jean sighed.

"So now what? Is Fred going to transform Hikaru into a girl?" Adrienne yawned.

"OVER MY DEAD BODY!!!!!" Hikaru and Anne shouted together.

"Now that you have a Priest, what are you going to do, no da?" Chichiri asked.

"The only logical thing to do is try to restore Fred's honor," Mary played with the spaghetti straps on her nightie. Hotohori's eyes popped out and zoomed in for a closer look. Nuriko whomped him on the head.

"How are you going to restore your goddess's honor, no da?"

"Shut up with that no da thing, it's driving me insane!" Mandy shouted.

"I can't help it, no da! It just happens, no da!" Chichiri argued back with a smile.

"NO DUH!" Steph, Anne, Mandy, Adrienne, Erin and Mary shouted.

"Umm, getting back to the subject here," Jean siad, "The only thing I can see is charging into Bordom's place and pound him until he gives up!"

"Now you're talkin action, Jean!" Tasuki cheered, "Now this is the type of woman I like, shall we adjourn to the bedroom?"

"Not now, you big sex hound," Mary rolled her eyes, "We still need to find out where his hideout is!"

Jean's eyes lit up, "Underwater, there was this palace that a mer-hog-man came from and attacked me! I'm sure that's his lair!"

"Groovy, I'm not getting my hair wet after I just got it straightened," Steph sighed.

"Well since you're a fairy, can't you use some kind of magic to get yourself and the rest of us down there?" Misusake asked.

"I could but there's only room for two at a time."

"Well, a Raywing spell would work," Jean sighed thoughtfully, "And the cat demons could transform into fish. Or Mandy could make a submarine out of a carrot. I don't know about you guys, but I wouldn't be caught dead in an orange sub. Not to mention Erin could summon a

dimensional sub."

"Cat's don't like water," Hikaru rolled his eyes at Jean.

"I guess the best thing to do is split up and attack them," Chiriko said thoughtfully, "How many men does Boredom have?"

"Hmm, accouring to my calculations," Anne whipped out a calculator and slipped on a pair of glasses, "Boredom should have 100 times us."

"Which means, that we just go in there and clobber anything that moves!" Tasuki whooped.

"Can't you calm him down? He freaks me out when he's excited." Hotohori said to Jean.

She giggled, "Nope, I'm his lover, not his mother!"

Jean woke up and rubbed her eyes. She changed out of her pajamas and into a pair of blue Chinese pants and matching top. After washing her face and brushing her hair, she snuck into the boys' room. Jean started to smile; Tasuki was sprawled out on his bed while the rest of the Seishis and Hikaru were sleeping flat on their back. She giggled, crept over to where he was sleeping and kissed his forehead gently.

"Ohhayo," he muttered, turning over to look into her eyes. Suddenly, he grabbed her by the waist and pulled her on top of him.

"Ouch!" she squeaked as she hit the ground, "Tasuki!!"

Jean's complaints soon disappeared when he kissed her hard on the lips. As much as she wanted to stay like that, she wiggled and was soon free. He looked at her, his eyes hurt and confused.

"I'm sorry," she purred and snuggled up to him, "I have to go make breakfast, maybe we can do this later? We have the whole day since we're not going to attack Bordom until tomorrow."

Last night, the whole group had decided that they should lie low for a day and then attack since Boredom probably heard the fight outside his palace.

Tasuki nodded and went back to sleep, "Leave a tray for me outside the door," he yawned.

Jean made a face at him and stalked out the door. All of a sudden, all the men surrounded him and fired questions at the unsuspecting seishi.

"Looks like a real catch you caught, no da!" Chichiri whooped

"What about me Tasuki-chan?" Nuriko whined playfully.

"Oh you guys are so @#$%-ing dead!!!!" Tasuki yelled, "LEKKA SHIEN!!!"

Jean sighed as she heard the fan go off on the second floor, "I tried

warn him..."

After breakfast, Miaka went off with Tamahome to spend some time alone with him, as did Jean and Tasuki, Anne and Hikaru and a brand new couple, Mary and Hotohori, leaving the rest to do the dishes.

"This is boring, no da," Chichiri sighed and used his magic to wash all the dishes.

"Cool!" Steph looked surprised, "Hey, Chiri-chan, lets compare magic, you teach me and I teach you, fair enough?"

"Sounds good, no da!" he grinned at the evil fairy as they walked outside.

"Wait! I want to learn magic too! I'm kind of sick of my piccolo!" Adrienne announced, running after them.

"Mitsukake?" He looked up to see Mandy, in carrot demon form, looking at him, "Are you alright? You seem so sad."

"I'm fine," he sighed.

"Something is wrong, you haven't smiled at all." Chiriko looked equally concerned about him.

"Umm," Mitsukake looked from one pure innocent face to another, it was hard to resist and he felt like he had to tell them that he missed... No, he was never going back to that, "I'm okay, really," he smiled, "Thank you for your concerns. It's such a nice day outside, why don't we go outside and fly kites?"

"Really? YAY!!!!" Mandy and Chiriko cheered and rushed outside, pulling Mitsusake along with them.

"Aww, that's so cute, I haven't seen Mitsukake-san that happy before," Nuriko smiled prettily. Erin gulped and noticed that they were the only two left. Nuriko tried again for a conversation, "I think Mitsusake-san would make a wonderful father, don't you agree?"

"Yeah but he seems so sad," Erin answered this time, "Say, Nuriko, umm, why did you, umm, well..."

"Decide to be gay?" Nuriko asked, "Well, I already looked like a girl anyway and my sister..."

"You mean that mole is REAL?" Erin interrupted, "I thought that was makeup!"

Nuriko chuckled, "Actually, it IS makeup, I just added to try to attract Hotohori-sama but," he sighed at this, "he doesn't seem to like me very much."

"Are you in love with him?" she asked soothingly.

"I dunno."

"Then why don't you try to be straight again?" Erin's eyes lit up, "Cut your hair, build up your body, dress up like a guy and get rid of that makeup! Man," she imagined the way he would look if he did that, "You would look like such a HUNK!!!!" Drool, drool, and drool.

"Really?" his eyes lit up too, "I guess, well, why not, it'll be fun to do a makeover. But don't cut my hair too short, like Chichiri's"

"Hey, what's wrong with my hair, no da?" he yelled from just outside the door.

"Just how much gel do you use to make it stick up like that?" Adrienne asked as she poked at it.

Erin laughed and agreed that she would only cut a little bit of it and pull the rest up in a high ponytail. They got to work, and as Nuriko fell to the ground doing push-ups, Erin started digging through Hikaru's clothing, after all, if he decided to be selfish, Nuriko would come to her rescue with his strength, oh, he'll be so hot! She giggled to herself and walked back to the living room. After washing off all the makeup, Erin ran outside to ask Steph if she could make Nuriko buffer.

"I guess," she answered hesitantly, "But why?"

"Oh, just wanna see how he would look like," Erin grinned at her friend as Steph raised an eyebrow.

"You have the hots for a gay guy?" she snickered.

Erin glared at her, with a tint of pink on her cheeks. Without another word, she stomped into the house with Steph laughing behind her.

Meanwhile...

"OUCH!!! That hurt, no da!" Chichiri yelped as Adrienne attempted to brush out his sky blue hair.

"Stop that, you're acting like a bab-mph!" Chichiri pulled her face down to his and stole a kiss.

"Hey guy, what the... NURIKO?!?!?!" Mary gasped as she and the rest of the group walked in through the door.

"Oh hi guys!" Nuriko waved cheerfully.

His appearance really changed, his hair was shorter and pulled back in a high ponytail, the mole was gone and he had more of a build. Erin dug around through all the seishi's clothing, decided that these people had the worst taste ever and summoned up her own. They fit Nuriko like a dream and showed off his buff body. All the girls stared at him, dreaming about their own fantasies.

Erin glared at her friends, "I got him first."

"@#$% Nuriko, man you fruitcake! Now, you'll end up stealing my girlfriend!" Tasuki shouted.

"WHAT?!?!??!?!?!???!?!" everyone turned to Jean. She blushed and hid behind Tasuki.

"You didn't have to broadcast it for the entire world," she muttered and snuggled closer to his back.

"Hey, what the @#$%, is that?" His attention turned to a bottle on the table, "Is that SAKE?!?!?!?!?!?! Gimme!" Tasuki grabbed the bottle and chugged it down. Then he got another, and another and another and another and another...

"Weeeeee loooooovvvvveeeee Cooonnnraaad, ohhhh yeeesshhh weee dooo..." he sang drunkenly, balancing a plate on his fangs and gourds on his arms.

Jean groaned and buried her head into her arms; "I'm so embarrassed..."

"Okay, here's the deal," Hikaru stood up with his impression of Kuwabara's I-am-almighty pose, "First, we need to split up into groups, there are sixteen of us and we can split into four groups: Tamahome, Jean, Mandy and Tasuki will be group one. Anne, Adrienne Chichiri and me will be group two. Steph, Nuriko, Mary and Hotohori will be group three. Erin, Chiriko, Mitsukake and Miaka will be group four, any questions?"

"Yeah, how come I'm stuck with potty mouth over here?" Mandy complained, "One minute with him, I'll end up deaf!"

"Hey, you f-" Tasuki began, but Jean clamped her hand over his mouth.

"I wanna be with Chiri-chan!" Adrienne whined.

"I wanna be with Adrienne, no da!" Chichiri sulked.

"Great job Priest," Jean rolled her eyes.

"Anne..." he turned to his girlfriend, the official getter-outter-of-tight-spots.

"Actually, you weren't really thinking about some stuff, one group should have at least one magic user to get down to that palace," Anne pointed out.

After arguing and discussing, the groups ended up like this:

Group One: Jean, Tasuki, Tamahome, Miaka

Group Two: Anne, Hikaru, Erin, Nuriko

Group Three: Chiriko, Mandy, Adrienne, Mitsukake

Group Four: Chichiri, Steph, Mary, Hotohori

After a little more friendly discussion (Jean held Hikaru in a choke hold for annoying her), Erin summoned a map of Bordom's palace and all four groups decided that they would enter in four different corners and head straight to the throne room, attacking all the way. That way, if Bordom decided to get reinforcements, no one would be able to save the pig from his unfortunate fate. Jean summoned her Raywing bubble, Erin brought forth her dimensional sub, Mandy improvised a carrot into a sub and Steph and Chichiri put their powers together to make their own bubble of air. They all headed toward the glittering gold palace, to

fight and perhaps, to die...

Jean's raywing bubble shot past all the mer-hog-men leaving them decapitated. Miaka gagged at the as a head floated near her and even Tama turned green as the speed of the bubble got faster.

"Ugggghhhh... I think I'm gonna," he groaned.

Tasuki panicked and turned SD, "WAAAAHHHH!!! NOT HERE!!!!!!!"

BLEACH!!!!

"Eww... Tama, you are soooo @#$%-en dead," SD Tasuki growled and pounced on the green seishi.

"Stop it you guys!" Jean shouted, "We're almost there! Miaka, get Tasuki offa Tama or the bubble will burst from all this activity!" She made the bubble go faster than before, causing her three passangers to turn green. Fortunatly, they reached the castle and the bubble popped before they could puke all over the driver.

"THIS IS ONE @#$%-EN BRIGHT ROOM!!!!" Tasuki shouted.

Jean clamped her hand over his mouth, "SHH!!! They might hear you!"The room seemed to be made of solid gold and precious stones glittered everywhere. Tamahome, the predictable one, automatically turned SD and attempted to pull out one of the gems in the wall.

"Tama! Stop that! We have to get to the throne room!" Miaka attempted to pull him off the wall.

All of a sudden, a dark shadow appeared behind her, Miaka didn't notice but Jean did and knew what it was. "LIGHT SPEAR!" the spear caught the shadow in the shoulder and jumped away from Miaka to face his opponent.

"Watch out you guys," Jean warned them, "That's Dark Pork, an evil mage that's in alliance with our foe."

"Dark-" Tasuki turned to Tama.

"-Pork?" Tama turned to Tasuki. The two of them started howling with laughter.

"THAT'S NOT FUNNY!!!!" Jean shouted.

"Actually, it kinda is..." Miaka giggled a little bit.

The Dark Pork seemed kind of insulted and threw an ice block at the two male seishis and turned them to ice sculptures. Miaka shrieked as it nearly hit her but Jean pushed her out of the way.

"Tamahome!"

"Miaka look!"

"LEKKA SHIEN!!!!" Tasuki used his fan to melt his ice exterior and did the same to Tamahome, turning the poor guy to toast, "Sorry, Tama that was on purpose. And as for you," Tasuki pointed to the pig who was

trying to sneak away unnoticed, "You are sooo @#$%-en dead, LEKKA SHIEN!!"

"Yum, I'm starving!" Miaka was about to chomp down on the bacon when a pig army came their way.

Jean handed her a huge bazooka as the four of them leaped into action. Tasuki Lekka Shien-ed anything that so much as snorted at him, Tama attacked them with the usual martial arts moves as Jean fireballed any strays. Miaka enjoyed herself with her new gun and soon, the pig army was nothing but sausage links.

"Look, the throne room!" Miaka pointed.

Jean had a strange feeling; it was all too easy, "Wait, Miaka! It's a tra-"

"KKKKKYYYYYYAAAAAA!!!!" Miaka have grabbed hold of the doorknob and was electrocuted.

"MIAKA!!!!" Tamahome rushed to her side and took her in his arms, "Miaka, wake up!!! Wake up dammit!!!!" sobbing, turned to Jean, "Please, can you heal her? She's dying, you must!"

"Jean, please, heal Miaka!" Tasuki pleaded.

Tears were coming out of the boy's eyes as Jean had to wipe her own eyes at the love she saw reflected in there. "Okay, I can heal her, but I'll be weaker for the fight. You two would have to do most of the fighting, understand?" They both nodded, "Lie her on the ground, quick, she's

almost gone."

She closed her eyes and raised her arms above her head. Almost immediately, bubbles and white light surrounded the two girls, "Oh blessed humble hand of God, blessed breath from Mother Earth, show your great compassion to Miaka and deliver her back to us..."

Tasuki stared at Jean's face, as it became paler and paler. He then found out what she was doing, she was giving her own life energy to Miaka.

"Deliver her from darkness, let my strength become hers so that she would walk with the living once more!" the light gathered around Jean's hands as she shot it at Miaka. Tamahome and Tasuki shielded their eyes against the light. When it was gone, Miaka looked totally normal and Jean collapsed on her side, weak and exhausted from the spell.

"Are you alright?" Tasuki gathered her up in his arms.

"I'm okay, just tired," she smiled sweetly at him and closed her eyes, "Tamahome, don't worry, Miaka will be... fine..." Her shoulders slumped and she fell asleep.

Erin put the sub back in its own dimension and pulled anything she could get her hands on, except the kitchen sink. Oh wait, silly me, there it is, it just hit that pig dude with an axe. Anne and Hikaru transformed themselves into huge guns, as Nuriko cracked is knuckles. Without warning, the four were surrounded by pigs.

BAM!!! CRASH!!!!! BONK!!!!

"Instant Bacon!" Erin grinned to herself as she put away her sword. All of a sudden, a cart was headed straight towards her filled with pork warriors. Nuriko turned around and instantly remembered his little sister. She was killed in a cart accident...

"NO!!!! ERIN!!!" he ran as fast as he could, grabbed Erin and jumped out of the way.

The cart swerved and crashed into a wall. The seishis and the Priest sweatdropped.

"Umm, Nuriko," Erin looked up at him, "You can put me down now."

Nuriko blushed and set her down. She surprised him with a little peck on the cheek and whispered, "Thank you," softly into his ear. He blushed again, walked away awkwardly from her and tripped over the body of a sizzling piece of pork.

Hikaru cleared his throat, "Come on, the throne room's just ahead!"

They all ran as Hikaru slowed himself down to run alongside with Anne.

"When this is over," he whispered to her, "We're be together, just you and me."

She blushed and nodded as the four of them flew into action. The throne room was just ahead and they could see two men, two girls with a really big gun.

Mandy's carrot sub got everyone there and she made it shrink into a regular sized carrot and chomped on it.

"How can you eat at a time like this?" Adrienne rolled her eyes at Mandy.

"Hey, I'm hungry and when I'm nervous, I eat," she shrugged and stuck her tongue out at her.

"Ladies please, we should really get going to the throne room," Mitsukake cut in.

"So, Chiriko, how many warriors do we have to go through to get to the throne room," Adrienne asked.

Chiriko did the math in his head, "If there were 100 times us then that would mean that would make 1,600 warriors in general. There are four hallways so that means we have to fight 400 pig warriors..."

"... So just hack whatever you see into little pieces huh?" Mandy clapped her hands gleefully, "Alright!!! CARROT SWORD!!!!!"

"Here they come now!" Mitsukake pointed as the pig army advanced toward them.

"Lookie there, Adrienne," Mandy pointed grinning.

"Well, well, a dark pork," she grinned back and blew into her piccolo.

"EVERYBODY MOMBO!!!!!!!!" The pigs couldn't resist the power of her piccolo and they started dancing.

Mitsukake started attacking the unsuspecting pig demons as Mandy Carrot Ball-ed any strays. Chiriko was handed some carrot balls as well and

started throwing them at the pigs. THOIP!!!!! THOIP!!!!! THOIP!!!!

"Tell me, is there anything more beautiful than a carrot ball sound?" Mandy sighed.

"The sound of my piccolo, HEY MACARINA!" Adrienne announced.

THOIP!!! "Don't even think about it!"

"Please ladies, the throne room!" Mitsukake tried in vain to get them to their destination.

"Oops, sorry," Mandy giggled nervously, "I kinda turned Adrienne into a

carrot..."

Sure enough, Adrienne was a carrot with limbs, a fox tail and little fox ears, "Mandy, when we get out of this, you are sooooooooo dead..."

Steph and Chichiri landed the bubble elegantly as they all charged inside the palace.

"Nice place," Mary nodded, "But, they should have used silver instead of gold."

"You have excellent taste Mary," Hotohori smiled at her.

"Why thank you, I always thought that you had wonderful taste too."

"It's true isn't it? I'm so wonderful."

"Just not modest," Steph butted in.

"Look, no da! A group of pigs with weapons, no da!" Chichiri pointed.

"SHAD UP WITH THAT DAMNED NO DA THING!!!! IT'S DRIVING ME INSANE!!!!!" Steph shouted, her head becoming large.

"It's not like I can help it no da!" Chichiri yelled back, "The creator made me do it, no da!"

"Hey you guys, are was going to yak about the 'no da' thing or are we going to decapitate something?" Mary asked, "Here I go~!"

With a quick wink at Hotohori, she zoomed off and circled the army a couple of times and managed to steal quite a few goodies. Steph got into the mood as she turned the pigs into flecks of dust. Hotohori decided to make sliced ham with his sword as Chichiri electrocuted the

last couple ones.

"That was too easy!" Mary remarked.

All of a sudden, the floor split open, revealing a deep, wide river. Without noticing it, Steph fell in and dropped her wand.

"Somebody help me!" she shrieked.

"Fly out of there!" Mary shouted and tried to get a hold on her friend.

Steph tried to move her wings, "I can't! The wings are making me even heavier! Somebody-glub!"

She was pushed under with one hand still sticking out of the water. Chichiri stared at the hand and grabbed on to it, holding her hand as hard as he could. He remembered that day, the flood, the woman he loved, his best friend drowning because he couldn't save him.

"Chichiri!" he heard Steph scream.

"I won't let you die, not like the others, no da!" he yelled and he pulled with all his strength.

Chichiri collapsed to the ground with Steph next to him, he was still holding on tightly to her hand and mumbling, "You can't die, it's my fault, I'll save you..."

Steph cradled his head on her lap and tears came out of the fairy's eyes. She had seen what happened to him and was feeling the same pain he felt. Even though she was an evil fairy, she was still a fairy and can tell what's in a person's mind and heart.

Chichiri's mask had been pulled off in the struggle and they all could see his scars. Wiping the tears out of her eyes, Steph made another bubble around herself, Chichiri, and the rest and headed toward the throne room.

"You guys!" Tama waved as everyone met outside the door.

"Jean? Is she..." Hikaru, being Jean's half cousin, looked worried about her.

"She's okay," Tasuki's face seemed strangely tender, "Just a little exhausted, she'll wake up soon. How's Chichiri?"

"He's just tired," Steph smiled sadly, "The guy saved my life." Adrienne ran over and cuddled his limp body.

"Can't you do anything about it Mitsukake?"

He nodded and smiled at her.

"Wait, isn't Jean in worse shape? @#$%, Mitsukake, heal her first!" Tasuki practically shouted.

"Stop, you guys shouldn't be fighting!" came an unknown voice.

"It's FRED!!!!!" the six seishis and the priest that were still standing gave a cheer and ran to hug Her Greatness.

"Yup, that's me!" Fred looked quite proud of the Lina Inverse styled outfit she put together, "So what's the deal, gotta heal people huh? Mitsukake, let me handle this," she grinned at him, "Even though I can heal anytime I want, the healing is not as powerful as yours, you should save your power if someone gets mortally wounded." She snapped her fingers twice and immediately, Chichiri and Jean were up and running, in SD mode.

"@#$%! I thought I was gonna die!" SD Jean squealed, "Alright, daddy-o, JEAN-CHAN'S BACK!!!!!"

"CHIRI-CHAN IS GONNA KICK SOME @$$, NO DA!!!!!! SD Chichiri shouted.

"Right on bro!" they linked arms and began to dance the "Gen-chan/Koji" Dance.

"Oops..." Fred and the rest of the people sweatdropped.

"@#$%! Why are they @#$%-en acting like me an Koji?" Tasuki glared at the goddess.

"Hey, I still have a reputation to hold up!"

"WHICH ONE'S MORE IMPORTANT TO YOU, YOUR REPUTATION OR YOUR HONOR?!?!?!?!" all the seishis yelled at her big headed.

"Fine, fine," she sighed and turned them back to normal, "You people couldn't appreciate darn good weirdness, even if it hit you in the face," she muttered.

"Ouch, what happened?" Jean moaned and turned around, "Oh, you guys are all here! Great! Let's go whomp the creep!"

"Huh? What's going on, no da?" Chichiri looked around, "Hey, who's the lady with the weird tiara and the ugly threads, no da?"

BAM!!!! Fred whacked Chichiri across the head. Adrienne glared at her and nuzzled closer to the guy.

"Do we have time for this?" Hotohori sighed, "I mean, the guy we're supposed to be fighting probably got away by now."

"OH HOHOHOHOHO~!!! Not a chance, Emperor!" Boredom Hoggie flipped off a banister and landed on his face, "Ouch! Now that's gonna leave a mark."

"That's the evil pig villein? The one we're supposed to fight?" Chiriko had a little sweatdrop on his cute little head.

"Hey, appearances can be deceiving!" Anne tried to change the Suzaku Seishis and the Miko's minds, "Huh, what's wrong with you Hotohori?"

"I...can...can...not stand this... ugliness."

BAM!!! Fred and Mandy hit him with a mallet and a carrot steamroller.

"Hey, don't hit him!" Mary shouted and glared at them.

Bordom shook his head, "Tsk, tsk, if you guys can't get along with each other, then how can you defeat me?"

"Shad up piggie or you're soon going to be bacon!" Jean glared at him, "Now give me back my copy of the Universe of the Four Gods!"

"Come and get it wench!" he stuck his tongue out.

"There's more than two copies?" Tamahome asked her.

"Yup, the one I have, we can make revisions on it and send it out, praising about the Goddess of Weird and her beautiful seishis!" the seven weird seishis turned all SD and sparkly eyed.

"Hey, what about me?" Hikaru pointed to himself.

"And the pain-in-the-butt priest," Steph included.

"Pain in the butt?"

"Hey, what the @#$% is up with you calling Jean a wench?" Tasuki griped his tessen and ran to where Bordom was standing, "LEKKA SHIEN!!!!"

"OW!!! That's it, I'll kick you in the nuts!" Bordom wailed as he barely missed the blast of fire.

"SILVER DRAGON WAVE!" Jean summoned her dragon and chased the pig all over the palace.

"CARROT BOMB!!!!!!" Mandy threw the bomb with all her might.

Bordom dodged it neatly, only to get hit by Erin's stuff and Steph's multiple wand attack. With him on the defensive, Adrienne used her piccolo to make him do the Hokey Pokey as Tasuki Lekka Shien-ed this, Lekka Shien-ed that.

"Oops, suman, Tama."

Speaking of Tama, he charged over to the porker and strangled his fat neck. Mary made him dizzy as Hotohori started to try to hack him into pieces but all he was getting was fat, not the organs. Tama let go of the pig as Nuriko heaved the throne, rocks, and other stuffs that is

guarantied pain.

"This is the hardest opponent that we ever fought!" Nuriko shouted in agony.

"It's the fat, not the ki!" Tamahome shouted.

"@#$%, what are we supposed to do now?"

Hikaru and Miaka were deep in thought. Suddenly, both of them stood up and yelled at the seishis at the same time, "How about putting all you're ki together and make one huge energy ball? That huge amount of energy might destroy the whole sausage!"

"Worth a shot!" the seishis cried and clasped hands.

"Well, I guess he's not such a pain in the butt after all!" Steph grinned.

All of them concentrated as a red glow surrounded the Suzaku seishis and a lavender glow surrounded the Weird ones. The markings on their body gleamed as a huge ball of energy came out of all the seishis.

"STRIKE!!!!!" they all yelled together and the rainbow colored ball rammed right into the pig.

"No, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!" KABOOM!!!!!

"Sayonara, dude!" the weird ones all waved and did a weird and wacky dance. But Jean and Fred soon broke out of the dance and ran around trying to find the Universe of the Four Gods.

"Shoot, I can't find it anywhere!" Jean wailed.

"There it is!" Chiriko pointed at a TV set that Nuriko didn't throw.

"Wait, you mean we got into all this trouble when all he was doing was using the book as a TV stand?!?!?" all the seishis looked like they could fry the little porker, "That guy is sooooooooo dead, (no da)."

"He's already dead," Fred shook her finger, "At least for this fic, Jean what's gonna happen next?"

"Duh, the finally!" Jean smiled proudly of herself as everyone else fell to the ground with a sweat drop on each of his or her heads.

The main cast of the show comes out on stage wearing traditional Chinese clothing to match the setting. (Note: Some people who don't like wearing those types of clothes are sneaking killer glances at the author's counterpart). They are also all in cute little SD modes.

Jean: Arigato minna-san for watching our kooky show! Now here's the final, THE SEVEN SEISHIS ENDING THEME!!!!!

Tasuki: @#$%! I ain't singing no @#$%-in song!

Jean: (sniff) But you sing so well! (snif) Please?

Tasuki: No @#$%-en way.

Jean: (tremble, sniff)

Anne: No! She's gonna...

Mary: RUN FOR IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mandy: You stupid, potty-mouthed, pyromaniac! Now look what you did!!!!

Jean: WWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

Hotohori: My...ears...

Chichiri: Some...one...shut...her...up...no...da...

Nuriko: Make...her...stop...before...we...die...

Tamahome kicks Tasuki into Jean and he falls on top of her, hard. Their eyes turn ultra-sparkly s they stare at each other with love. The little blue, pink, yellow bubbles come out and gathers around them as roses appear.

Steph: Are we still alive?

Erin: Forget about that, do we really have to sing?

Adrienne: I hope not, that song is so lame!

Fred: Quick, while they're distracted!

All Weird People: RUN FOR IT!!!!

They zoom out but Hikaru makes a U-turn and grabs Jean. Tasuki mumbles to himself about almost getting it when all his so-called comrades gather around him with evil smiles on their faces. He backs away with a sweatdrop on his head when they pounce on his back.

Tasuki: ARRGH!! You @#$%-ers! Get the hell offa me!!!!

Chichiri: Say it, no da! Say that you love women, no da!

Nuriko grabs Tasuki's legs and pulls it closer to his body.

Nuriko: Hurry up and say it!

Tasuki: No @#$%-en way!

Tamahome: Too bad!

Tama and Hotohori sits on his legs as Mitsukake shakes his head and drags Chiriko and Miaka away. Tasuki is way too predictable...

Tasuki: OW!!!! YOU @#$%-ERS!!!! GET OFF, YOU GUYS ARE @#$%-EN HEAVY!!!! Huh? My tessen, awright! LEKKA SHIEN!!!!!!!

Anyone interested in fried Suzaku seishi? Not just for a meal, for entertainment as well... giggle!