Yu*Yu*Hakusho (and all its characters) belongs to Yoshihiro Togashi, not Blue Jeans. She also doesn't own Team Rocket.

Chapter One: Mission Impossible

"Yes, Enma," Fred said calmly into the phone, "It must be embarrassing. Oh no problem, I'll send them over right away."

She hung up the phone and grasped the speaker, "MAYDAY!!!! MAYDAY!!!!! WE HAVE AN EMERGENCY!!!!! ANNE, MANDY AND JEAN REPORT TO MY OFFICE PRONTO!!!!! ON THE DOUBLE, OVER AND OUT!!!!"

"What did Boredom Hoggie do something again?" Jean groaned as she and the rest of the guides walked in.

"No," Fred sighed, "It's worse, Enma's going away on a business trip and..."

"And his bratty son needs a baby sitter," Mandy sighed, "Don't worry I'll take care of it."

"Actually it's not only that," Fred glared at her for being interrupted, "Koenma needs to be toilet trained."

The three guides stared at her in shock and finally began to shriek with laughter.

"IT'S NOT FUNNY!!!!!" she yelled at them, "Enma wants to hire you guys to help his son!"

"Wait a sec!" Anne said quickly, "Where do I come in? I don't have any little brothers like Jean or a knack with children like Mandy."

"No, you're just there to hold him down," Jean sighed, "Trust me, I did this before, TWICE!" she turned to Fred, "We'll do it, for a decent price."

"NO WE WON'T!!!!!!" Anne and Mandy shouted.

"Look, it's this or you guys are demoted to be my entertainment crew!" Fred shouted.

"AUUUGGGGGHHHHH NOOOOOOOO!!!!!! ANYTHING BUT THAT!!!!!!!"

Chapter Two: Oh, Look Who Else is Here or God Hunt

"I can't believe we're doing this," Anne muttered.

"Oh come on Anne," Jean desperately tried to brighten her friend up, "You've house trained cats before right?"

"Great so we can teach Koenma how to pee a litter box," Mandy said sarcastically.

"Think of it this way, maybe he'll be in teenager form."

Anne stopped and a mental picture formed in her head with teenaged Koenma in a diaper. She began to look a little green.

"Shouldn't have done that," Mandy sighed and rang the doorbell. DING DONG!!!!!!

"Hello?" Jean stuck her head in through the door, "Koenma-sama? Are you here?"

"Jean, you're here too?" Yusuke asked as she walked into the Great Hall.

She nodded as Kuwabara and Hiei appeared on the scene. Mandy began to scream and high tailed her veggie loving bootie towards the exit. Anne and Jean grabbed their panicking friend as Kuwabara and Yusuke shut the door.

"Help! The little dork is here!" Mandy shouted as Hiei gave her his trademark glare.

"Hn."

"So where's Koenma-sama?" Anne asked when they finally calmed Mandy down (which meant tying her to a chair and stuffing a hankie in her mouth).

"Hiding," Yusuke rolled his eyes.

"Where's Kurama?" Jean turned left and right, trying to find the gorgeous fox demon.

"He had an exam to study for."

"Dang."

"Jean, you don't want Fred to get mad at you for trying to seduce the natives again, do you?" Anne asked.

"AGAIN?!" Yusuke, Kuwabara and Hiei turned to Jean.

"It was only on the Island of Bishonen," she muttered blushing, "Umm, the assignment?

"Wait a sec, you guys have to try to," Yusuke lowers his voice, "Potty train Koenma-sama too?"

"Yup, but first we have to find him."

"Leave that to the great Kuwabara Kazuma!" he gave an almighty smirk and cupped his hands around his mouth, "YOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOO, KOENMA-SAMA, IT'S TIME TO GET YOU POTTY TRAINED!!!!!!"

Anne and Jean covered their ears as Kuwabara's high voice echoed throughout the room.

Yusuke groaned and slapped his forehead, "Sure, just TELL him what we were planning to do!"

"So why are you doing this?" Mandy asked since Jean and Anne untied her for being good for a full thirty minutes.

"Think about it, revenge for all the things he made us do," Yusuke grinned at the thought.

YUSUKE'S MENTAL PICTURE:

Shoving Koenma-sama down into the toilet bowl and then flushing it. Then grabs Mandy and shoves her down there to join Koenma in a watery death.

Mandy pops the balloon with an orange carrot pin and summons a carrot ball. Yusuke laughs hesitantly and backs away from her.

"Umm, the assignment?" Anne said this time, "How do we find him?"

"That's Hiei's job," Yusuke jerked his thumb towards the scowling fire demon.

"Hn, find him yourself."

"We don't need the shrimp's help," Kuwabara laughed, "Because you have the Great Kuwabara Kazuma to look for him!"

"Yeah, like the time when you wrote a fic for YuChan and then got her sent to who-knows-where because you forgot to insert the disclaimer?" Mandy raised an eyebrow.

Yusuke shuddered at the memory as the so-called 'Great' Kuwabara Kazuma blushed.

"Come on Hiei," Jean wheedled, doing the big kawaii eyes thing, "Can't you find him fwor us? Pwetty pwease?"

"Hn, no."

"If you do," Anne racked her brain for a suggestion, "Then, then, you can give, umm, a, umm, ah hah! Kuwabara, Koenma and Mandy a swirly!"

"What's a swirly?" Hiei asked looking a teensy bit interested.

Jean and Anne whispered it into his ear as Yusuke listened from the other side. Kuwabara looked as confused as ever. An evil, evil smile spread across the Forbidden Child's face (ya know, like the Grinch in that Dr. Seuss Christmas special?) and revealed his Jagon.

"He's in that houseplant thing," Hiei pointed.

Koenma ran out, his cover being blown as Mandy hit him with a Carrot Mallet. Since it was a veggie weapon, all it did leave a tiny bump that it was there. Kuwabara, Yusuke, Jean, Anne and Hiei dog piled on the god.

"LET GO OF ME YOU @#$%-ERS!!!!!!" Koenma shouted, his pacifier nearly falling out of his mouth.

"Tsk, tsk," Jean wiggled her finger, "That's not a nice thing to say when you're just a little guy!"

"I'm older than you, girly," he grumbled.

"Well, that doesn't count since you're not potty trained!" Anne said, "Mandy, hurry up and remove the diaper!"

"Eww!" Mandy wrinkled her nose; "I'm not touching that! Yusuke, since you're the hero of this series, you should get the diaper!"

"Umm, since Jean had the most experience in this, she should get the diaper!" Yusuke said quickly.

"Cowards," Jean looked disgusted with them and turned to Kuwabara, "You do it, oh Great and Mighty Kuwabara Kazuma! If you do, I'll tell Yukina that you were the man who removed a GOD'S diaper!"

Kuwabara's face lit up and he grabbed hold of the diaper and pulled while Jean and Mandy shoved training pants on him.

Chapter Three: Waiting and Torture

"You idiots, untie me this instant!" Koenma shouted from his chair.

Mandy stuffed the rag down his throat but this didn't stop him from thrashing around and making loud noises.

"He's acting like such a brat," Anne sighed.

"Yeah, but how can we make the midget nerd go to the bathroom?" Yusuke wondered as his gaze shifted to the big screen TV, "I got it!"

He scrambled over to his backpack, grabbed a video and popped it in. It was quiet.

Interlude:

Yusuke: Hey, what video do you want me to play?

Blue Jeans: That's a secret!

Xelloss: Who said you could say that? And give me back my staff!

B. Jeans: Too bad (blows raspberry), you're not in this story, poof begone!

(Xelloss and the staff disappears)

B.Jeans: Damn, I wanted that staff!

Yusuke: C'mon Blue, what kind of video should I use?

B. Jeans: Well, I was thinking to use Amelia's dubbed voice but that's too mean.

Kuwabara: Too mean for Koenma?

B. Jeans: Nope, too mean for the voice actor. Hmm, I got it! Use this video! (hands him a video from her collection)

Yusuke: ... WOW! No problem, leave to me! (runs away laughing hysterically)

Now, Back to the story

"Prepare for trouble!"

"And make that double!"

The Gruesome Twosome (also known as Team Rocket) flew across the screen.

"NO!!!!!! NO!!!!!!" Koenma screamed, "TURN IT OFF!!!! TURN IT OFF!!!!!!

"Wonderfully weird idea Yusuke!" Mandy grinned, "Scaring him so he would go pee in his pants!"

"You'd make a great Weird World guide," Jean grinned.

"Well, if Koenma-sama fires me, then I'll go to her for an employer," Yusuke grinned at the compliment.

"HEY! What about the Great Kuwabara Kazuma!" he whined.

"You're too wacky to be a guide," Anne rolled her eyes and retreated a nice and far distance from the unstable carrot topped ningen.

"Umm... I think, I think... I gotta," Koenma started squirming in his chair, "Gotta, go to the... potty..."

ZOOM!!!!! Everyone grabbed him, chair and all and hauled the poor god into the bathroom. Then the girls walked outside to give Koenma some privacy (and if Koenma were planning to escape, they wouldn't get wet, let the boys do the dirty work).

After three hours and 20 games of Go Fish later, a battered Kuwabara walked out with a triumphant grin on his face.

"Ladies, may I introduce you, a fully matured man, Koenma-sama of Reikai!"

Wild applause, as Koenma came out with a smirk on his face, "Look, I'm a big kid now!"

"Anne, don't forget what you promised me," Hiei had a rare grin on his face.

"Right, Jean, Yusuke, get ready to evacuate the premises," she whispered to them, "Umm, great job Koenma-sama, we've got to go, we kinda-sorta have a triple date set up."

ZOOM!!!!!!!!!! The three of them ran out as fast as they could.

"I wonder what that was all about?" Koenma raised an eyebrow.

"Hah, they're just afraid of the Great Kuwabara Kazu-blubblubb!" Hiei shoved Kuwabara's head into the toilet. After holding it in place for a couple of minutes, he pulled him out revealing a swirled hairdo.

"And now, it's Mandy's turn," Hiei grinned.

"Yipe!"