A while back I posted a plot bunny about Spencer defending the honor of his band in the Old West that basically boiled down to, "Spencer must defend the honor of Ryan and Brendon against Jon, who has slighted them (it? their honor, whatever)! But other events lead to extenuating circumstances or something and instead they must all work together to save the town and everything leads to GSF because that is the second rule of Panic. YAY."

achika_chan said that was nice and all, but, "See, when I think of Defending Honor, I think of like, Regency AUs and stuff." I am a great fan of Regency AUs (and I was maybe rereading Sorcery & Cecelia at the time, so I was even more in love with the idea), and, well. We broke my journal a couple times in a couple posts.

Since I'm nice, I'm going to share! Regency Panic shenanigans, plus bonus Tom and Pete being Tom and Pete. Also, garters.

Pairings: Spencer/Ryan, Jon/Brendon, Jon/Cassie, GSF
Rating: PG
Word Count: 4,620

sekkritbandomlj:	WOO! Clearly Spencer and Ryan have known each other for years, but does Spencer know Ryan is not a woman?? This is a serious question. Why is Ryan dressed as a woman is another question! With Brendon it is easy – he has run away from home to escape family responsibilities, etc., and is pretending to be the cousin of whoever he is staying with (I'm thinking Pete), and is pretending to be a woman so that there is less of a chance of his family finding him. Ryan and Spencer become friends with Brendon, neither of them realizing at first that Brendon is not a woman! But there are certain tells, and Ryan, he knows them and spots them before too long, and Brendon panics, but Ryan and Spencer reassure him that they aren't going to out him! Then the army happens to pass through, staying in the area for a little while, and among the ranks there is one Sergeant Walker, whose eye is caught by the pretty young ladies being escorted about by the equally pretty a handsome young man of no apparent relation. Honor/virtues/reputations are slighted! Accusations are made! Duels are demanded! HOWEVER WILL IT TURN OUT IN THE END??
achika_chan:	Spencer knows that Ryan is not actually a girl, he's just known Ryan too long not to a least suspect. And Pete is a noble with a Reputation for outlandish and just this side of improper and all that jazz, right? How do Ryan and Spencer meet Brendon?
sekkritbandomlj:	Spencer and Ryan are visiting Spencer's great aunt! Spencer's father is middle class-ish, but his mother comes from an elite family! Her family pretty much shunned her when she ran off to marry her lowly priest (it was LOVE ♥~), but now her unmarried aunt is getting up there in years and Spencer is the only surviving male member of the family, so Auntie is making nice! Spencer is mostly playing along because he knows his father really can't afford dowries for his sisters, but if he inherits Auntie's property, he'll be able to provide for them (Spencer is a Good Son and Brother!). Ryan comes with Spencer on his visit/"courting" of Auntie to play the part of Spencer's betrothed, I think, so that Auntie can't carry out any of her plans to marry Spencer off to one of her friend's granddaughters! Ryan probably stands to inherit a title when his father dies, but his father is more than a little eccentric! He has maybe disguised Ryan as a girl ever since early childhood because he is sure that someone is going to come along and try to steal his heir (his logic being that no one would try to steal a worthless girl). Ryan's sick of being kept in and protected all his life, so he runs off with the vicar's son for a season or two (and I'm sure I'm getting all the technical terms for church positions wrong, but eh *handwavey magic!*). Pete probably lives in the same general area as Spencer's great aunt. No doubt Spencer and Ryan meet Brendon when they are being all proper and paying courtesy calls on Auntie's neighbors.
achika_chan:	Spencer loves his sisters and his parents and he doesn't really like his Aunt but that money would do a world of good. Oh Ryan. Running away with Spencer because his dad is crazycakes. And wow, George is crazycakes. Why would anyone want to steal Ryan? Answer: They wouldn't, it's just the drink making George be paranoid. Auntie warns them about Pete, "Try not to be offended by his... outlandish behavior, just smile and be nice," but Spencer and Ryan genuinely like Pete who is very refreshing after all the other stuffy people they've had to visit.
sekkritbandomlj:	Spencer has to be responsible and keep dragging Ryan away from Pete, because Ryan is all *FANGIRL*. Ryan is supposed to be proper and everything! If he's too out there, Auntie might get suspicious and find out that Ryan's not a girl and then the next thing they know, Spencer will be married, barefoot, and pregnant! Er. Or something like that. Sometimes they dress Ryan up in some of Spencer's clothes and tuck his long hair up in a hat and sneak out to have a good time just being boys! But they never let anyone catch them because... Well, they don't know why. But there must be a good reason why Ryan's dad's always insisted he be a girl? Not even Brendon knows Ryan isn't a girl, even after Ryan discovers Brendon isn't one! Spencer and Ryan are very good at keeping secrets.
achika_chan:	Pete is totally fascinated by Ryan, just like he was with Mikey Way a few summers ago. Ryan thinks Pete is so interesting. He's like no one Ryan's ever met before. Spencer would rather not get married. Ryan and Spencer having Boys' Nights is amazing. Ryan's not a very good boy, though. George tried to teach him how to be both, but when you have to be a girl in public that's what sticks. You know what would be amazing? If George wasn't just crazycakes and someone really did want to kidnap Ryan.
sekkritbandomlj:	Pete, of course, has absolutely no clue that Ryan isn't a girl. And of course Pete's like no one Ryan's ever met before! He's been exposed to a very limited number of people during the course of his lifetime. George trusted Spencer's family because Spencer's father's the vicar, but pretty much they're the only one's Ryan's ever really gotten to know outside the staff at Lord Ross's manor. Ryan probably doesn't make a very good girl either, at least not after he starts spending more time with Spencer's family. This is probably because the only girls he has for models are Spencer's sisters. (Before meeting Spencer and his sisters, Ryan was actually a model little girl. It probably took Spencer at least two years to figure out that Ryan wasn't a girl.) OMG, THAT IS CLEARLY THE REASON WHY SPENCER AND JON'S DUEL MUST BE POSTPONED! Someone tries to kidnap Ryan! There are shenanigans! Death-defying stunts! Brendon finally getting fed up with a dress and belting his skirt up around his waist and leaping into the fray in his bloomers, scandalizing Jon!
achika_chan:	Ryan is smart and willfull, which is not something Pete finds in most girls. (It's a side effect of being around Ginger, Crystal, and Jackie Smith. Ginger is a very No Nonsense woman). Ryan used to be quiet and demure and all that, but Ginger taught him that girls can have brains too. Ahahah. Oh, Brendon. Jon would be like "O_O. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" and covering his eyes looking away and all that, and Brendon just rolls his eyes. "It's only cloth, you won't go blind."
sekkritbandomlj:	Ginger is totally Ryan's ~idol~. He spent most of his formative years wanting to grow up to be JUST LIKE HER. YES. Ahahahaha. Brendon is dangerous in his women's shoes! Brendon has to wear a wig because he hasn't been growing his hair for years and years like Ryan. Jon probably starts to catch on when Brendon's hair falls off.
achika_chan:	Brendon knows how to use those heels as weapons. Jon doesn't know what to feel when he realizes that Brendon is a guy. He'd really kind of liked Brendon and Ryan and Spencer. Jon doesn't have time to think about this, though, because he has some to kick some Bad Guy Ass.
sekkritbandomlj:	Ryan taught him well. Bad Guy Ass that is trying to abscond with Spencer's fiancée! And yeah, Jon was about to duel with Spencer (to the death! Though Jon had been secretly hoping the ladies would get fluttery and be all, "Violence is wrong!" before any mortal wounds were inflicted), but that was different! That was not threatening a Lady! Probably the kidnappers succeed in carrying off Ryan and then Spencer must unwillingly accept the help of these new acquaintances of his in order to get Ryan back. Meanwhile, Ryan is not being the sweet, well-behaved hostage his captors expected! They probably gave up on George ever having a son and decide to try whatever they wanted to try with his daughter.
achika_chan:	Jon will not stand for threatening a Lady! Spencer doesn't really know how much Brendon and Jon wi'll help, but any help is better than none. They expected Ryan to cry, maybe faint or beg for his release, but no. Ryan bites and kicks and swears and threatens them. He almost takes off the fingers of one of the kidnappers.
sekkritbandomlj:	Of course not! His mother raised him better than that! Honestly, he never meant to slight Ryan and Brendon's virtue/honor/whatever! In fact, he probably didn't, it was probably someone else in his regiment, but Jon's taking the fall because Jon at least stands a chance against Spencer, unlike the guy who actually spoke the insult. Which probably consisted of the equivalent of a whistle and a comment about how wow, wouldn't mind a chance to see up the skirts of one of them (and yeah, the irony of the fact that Jon's unintentionally seen what's under Brendon's skirt in the midst of all of this has not escaped him). Ryan totally manages to sprain the wrist of one of his captors and kicks and shrieks like a banshee ever time anyone lays a hand anywhere on him, particularly if that hand is anywhere near his hips or bosom (the captors think this is because of his delicate feminine nature, but really, he's just afraid they'll discover his secret).
achika_chan:	Jon is such a good guy, taking the fall like that. Ryan has no clue what they'd do if they discover he's a boy, but he doesn't want to find out, so he screams and screams and his captors don't try it anymore because they don't want to hear his goddamn shrieking, so shut your mouth, Miss Ross.
sekkritbandomlj:	He is! Probably had a spotless record in the army before he took the fall for this, too – no fights, no mishaps, no disagreements with his mates. Everyone likes Sergeant Walker! Ryan is absolutely terrified, but he knows that Spencer will save him no matter what. It isn't that Ryan isn't tough or anything like that – he may've been raised as a girl (and a boy, in a convoluted, confusing way), but it was as a tough girl (well, after he met Spencer and Ginger and the twins, at least), and he's not afraid. Horribly. Well. Okay, he's really scared, and the only thing that's keeping him together is that he knows Spencer won't stand for this. (OMG, WHY DO THEY WANT GEORGE'S SON??? I keep thinking it has something to do with magic or something, and they need the heir to the Ross estates or George himself, only George won't work as well or maybe they already tried George – who just fell apart when his little girl boy disappeared, but it didn't work and he's practically dead and they need someone younger so that means Ryan OH DEAR.)
achika_chan:	And he says to the guy "You owe me so much for this," before his CO takes him away to reprimand him. Ryan has absolute faith in Spencer. (I DON'T KNOW EITHER. Magic is always awesome!)
sekkritbandomlj:	I am thinking Jon is in the army with a whole bunch of TAI guys, among others. Of course Ryan has absolute faith in Spencer. It is Spencer. Spencer is made of win and ass-kickery. (Magic is indeed always awesome! Maybe Ryan has magic and they need him to do something! Or maybe they want to exploit the special magic that ties Ryan to the land he inherits to do a scary spell that will allow world domination! Or something.)
achika_chan:	Obviously. And Tom was totally the guy who made the comment because Tom is kind of an ass when he's drunk and Jon is his BFF and won't let him get in trouble. He is indeed. (Or something. Magic!)
sekkritbandomlj:	Boooo, Tom. Yay, Jon! Too bad Spencer has no idea where Ryan is or how to rescue him. D: (Magic!)
achika_chan:	Tom doesn't mean to be a jerk, it's just who he is! There's no controling it, especially when he's been out drinking with the guys. He was only tryingto show his appreciation for their beauty! Spencer will find a way.
sekkritbandomlj:	Jon insists that that is not the proper way to show that you appreciate a lady. Spencer always finds a way.
achika_chan:	And Tom is all "But if you don't tell them how do they know?" He is a ninja.
sekkritbandomlj:	Jon has often wondered that himself, but it is not his place to question the ways of the world. He totally is. Even though this is before ninjas. Kind of.
achika_chan:	Ahahahah. Girls are so confusing to the failbots in the army (including Jon) and just when Jon had thought he'd found a girl he understood it turns out she's a guy! Pshaw, the ninjas are just in another part of the world.
sekkritbandomlj:	Sergeant Walker isn't a failbot! He just... has never had much luck with the ladies is all. And Jon probably doesn't make the make the leap of intuition from Brendon's wig-wearing tendencies and willingness to hike up his skirts to realizing Brendon ≠ lady for quite some time. Probably because he is partially in denial about the fact that he's finally found a lady he understands... and she's a he. Brendon, of course, is rather confused by Sergeant Walker's attentions and gentlemanly behaviour while they help Spencer out on his quest to rescue Ryan! He is not used being on the receiving end of such behaviour, and he'd really thought the jig was up when he not only hiked up his skirt to kick Bad Guy Ass, but also lost his hair! But apparently Sergeant Walker bought the tall tale about how he'd had to have his head shaved during an awful fever, and Brendon's embarrassed by his shamefully short hair and is hiding it under a wig while he waits for it to grow out again. Spencer thinks they're both hilarious, though he is also Suspicious of Walker, who is seriously too good to be true, and is clearly, clearly not good enough for Brendon. Not that Walker could court Brendon anyway, seeing as how Brendon isn't a girl and all. Though really, Spencer only has Ryan's word on that (and, okay, Brendon's rather unfeminine behaviour), he hasn't actually ever seen Brendon in anything other than woman's clothing like he has Ryan. So there's always the chance that Ryan was wrong and Brendon actually is a woman (the unfeminine behaviour can easily be explained away by Brendon's relation to Pete Wentz, after all). I vaguely remember something about how our association of ninjas with stealth, etc., is actually a modern addition and not really a traditional ninja skill.
achika_chan:	Brendon is confused by Sergeant Walker, but he really likes the attention, and sometimes he forgets that he's not actually a girl. Pete Wentz can explain lots of things.
sekkritbandomlj:	Brendon really, really likes the attention. Spencer has to keep reminding him to stop preening, it isn't seemly. But Brendon can't help it! Sergeant Walker is so proper and holds the door open, and offers his arm, and, "Why are you complaining anyway, Spencer Smith? You're already betrothed to Ryan!" Who seriously needs a girl name, so I guess Georgina? Which would be why Ryan doesn't like George as a name – reminds him of his crazy dad and of the fact that he's supposedly a girl. I usually default to Brenda for crossdressing!Brendon (and we're not going to get into what it says about me that I have a default girl name for Brendon, yes). That Brendon is (supposedly) Pete Wentz's cousin is used to explain away a lot of "her" unusual behaviour. Spencer actually doesn't call Brendon on a lot of his unfeminine behaviour because Spencer is used to Ginger and the twins (and Ryan), none of whom can exactly be described as "proper" young ladies (though Ryan can actually do a killer impression of a proper young lady, and Ginger can be excruciatingly proper if she needs to be – a product of her upperclass childhood – but Spencer doesn't realize that).
achika_chan:	Sergeant Walker makes Brendon blush and feel special. Pete loves being the eccentric guy, it's so much fun and so convenient for when things like Brendon needing cover happen. They happen more than you'd think, especially to Pete.
sekkritbandomlj:	Sergeant Walker makes Brendon feel like he's the only lady in the room. As he gets to know Sergeant Walker better, Brendon occasionally (only occasionally, mind!) regrets that he's not actually a woman, since then Sergeant Walker would actually like him. As it is, Brendon feels blushes and special (it gets particularly interesting when Spencer sometimes seems to feel like he has to protect Brendon from Sergeant Walker's very proper courtship by outdoing him in terms of gentlemanliness), but always feels a bit melancholy, since it isn't a real courtship. Brendon's also melancholy because he's horribly worried about Georgina, of course, as they still haven't found her. It is clear to Brendon that Spencer is really, truly, desperately in love with her, even if their engagement is a sham to keep Spencer's aunt from trying to marry him off. He thinks it's horribly romantic that Spencer is trying so hard to find her, and he can't help but kind of wish Spencer would expend that kind of effort to find him if someone carried him off. (Brendon realizes this is nothing but a silly fancy on his part, since Brendon's situation is completely different from Georgina's – he isn't an actual woman, he isn't Spencer's responsibility, and Spencer hasn't known him for practically his entire life.) Pete is such an eccentric guy that I'm left wondering how it is that he knows Brendon.
sekkritbandomlj:	I have no idea how it resolves? Clearly it should end with Ryan being rescued and either Spencer/Ryan and Jon/Brendon or GSF. Only how do they rescue Ryan? When does Jon realize Brendon isn't a girl? How long does it take Brendon and Jon to find out that Ryan's not a girl? Does Ryan get to be the Real Boy he's always wanted to be once Spencer takes care of the bad guys? Does Auntie decide Spencer is much too improper to be her heir?? Does Brendon's family ever discover what's happened to their son? OH THE MYSTERY.
achika_chan:	Auntie has to make Spencer her heir, though, because then the four of them can live together in the Manor and Spencer can support them in the Manner They've Become Accustomed to.
sekkritbandomlj:	But Ryan is sole heir to the hereditary Ross estates! Which are significantly larger than Auntie's. Unless George has mismanaged them and lost them or something, but I think Ryan's kidnappers are trying to get control of the lands (or something on them) and that's why they abduct him in the first place. Anyway, Auntie may have money, but Ryan has a title! He's going to have to get married to a girl at some point, probably. Sad for Spencer. :(
achika_chan:	Clearly Ryan marries Keltie and the five of them settle into a polyamorous orgy, possibly with bonus Cassie and Hayley.
sekkritbandomlj:	This is a good point! Keltie is full of awesome, as are Cassie and Hayley. But what of Brendon?? Will he be that odd, unmarried friend who hangs out with Lord Ross, Mr. Smith, and Sergeant Walker?? Seven people is an awful lot of people for a polyamorous relationship, though. Sigh. Complications!
achika_chan:	Hippie Comune of Looooove, that is the only solution. As for Brendon, um...He's just so scared of girlparts that I can't even picture him with an actualfax girl, even for cover. But he did date Audrey? He could 'court' Miss Kitching and get his 'heart broken' and then swear of marriage very publicly so that no one thinks too much of it, he's just Mr. Urie who won't get married. IDK.
sekkritbandomlj:	I think he and Jon work together to spread a rumor that his heart was broken when a young lady he was enamored with when he was younger took sick and died rather tragically. Or something. I think Spencer and Ryan get married and make a play at being properly domestic and all that, while Jon and Brendon go off on adventures, then come back and share stories of their adventures. Eventually Jon finds a girl who's not afraid to speak her mind, and for a while Brendon's a bit worried, but Cassie's wonderful and when she and Jon marry, nothing's any different from when Ryan or and Spencer married, except that the likelihood of Brendon accidentally facing girlbits upon occasion increases, but the others are very understanding about it and stuff. Yes.
achika_chan:	Yes, exactly! Poor Miss Kitching took ill with the consumption and never recovered. Brendon was absolutely devestated and would rather not talk about it, if you please. Ryan gets to be married to Spencer and dress in pretty clothes, and he gets Jon and Brendon too. Life is very good. Cassie and Ryan can talk about girly things over needlepoint or knitting or what have you. Ryan got into the habit when he was young and it stuck. Brendon can deal with the occasional girly part, but he does not understand their appeal.
sekkritbandomlj:	Well, Ryan gets that if he never reveals he's not actually a girl. Though alas, Georgina will be tragically barren and never have any children who can carry on the Ross name and title. Most tragic. George probably made Ryan learn needle point in one of his fits of paternal duty, as that is the kind of thing proper young ladies learn, right? (I think George was a bit confused as to whether he had a son or a daughter sometimes.) Ryan likes Cassie and Jon's babies, though – they are small and cuddly and awww, Spencer, I want one too! Brendon and Cassie probably end up being BFFs! :D
achika_chan:	I have the most fun with George in this story. He's such a crazypants.
sekkritbandomlj:	OR IS HE?? Ryan was abducted, after all. :O
achika_chan:	Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean that they're not out to get you! It could be both! George is obviously a crazypants, but he was also right for once.
sekkritbandomlj:	I never figured out whether Spencer actually rescues Ryan or if Ryan saves himself.
achika_chan:	Ryan should rescue himself while Spencer's Rescue Attempt creates a diversion.
sekkritbandomlj:	I want Ryan to knock someone out with a cast-iron skillet. Because that would be pretty damned awesome. (Ginger totally gave Ryan and the twins self-defense lessons in the art of skillet-fu.) I would think Spencer's Rescue Attempt would be too well planned to create a diversion. Though. He does have Brendon helping him...
achika_chan:	Skillet-fu! But where would Ryan get a skillet?
sekkritbandomlj:	He keeps one under his skirts in case of emergency. From a kitchen, I'm guessing. There's probably one at the place where he's being held captive, and Georgina Ross is a delicate lady, so of course she would never think of lifting anything so rough as a skillet and taking it to the skulls of her kidnappers. I'm guessing that none of the people who carry Ryan off are female. They seem to underestimate the fairer sex quite a bit.
achika_chan:	I won't lie, I had that thought too You're right, clearly all the kidnappers are men.
sekkritbandomlj:	Stuck in his garter. Why else would they have stuck it out for so long hoping George might have a son? Men are kind of stupid, sometimes.
achika_chan:	Ryan in garters FTW They are.
sekkritbandomlj:	Ryan's garters are INDUSTRIAL STRENGTH. Ginger made sure. But Ryan forgives Spencer for being one, because his rescue attempt did provide a nice distraction, and then Brendon told him all about how worried Spencer was while Ryan was missing and... that's kind of really sweet. And romantic. Ryan likes romantic gestures.
achika_chan:	Once again, Ginger is amazing Ryan is a hopeless romantic.
sekkritbandomlj:	Ginger was more than happy to take the very quiet, shy little Georgina under her wing and raise her into a proper young lady who can take care of herself. Well, of course he is. He is very disappointed when Spencer doesn't sweep him up in an embrace and kiss him when they are reunited. Instead, Spencer just looks at him, cocks his hip, and says, "Well, come on already. I haven't got all day." Sergeant Walker is very confused by Spencer's cold attitude towards his fiancée! He tries to get Brendon to explain, but Brendon is just as confused! Spencer is possibly upset because it's occurred to him that now that the kidnappers are taken care of, Ryan will finally stop having to pretend to be a woman any longer. Which Spencer is fine and okay with and everything, but that also means that that Ryan will have to find a woman and get married in order to Do His Duty and all that and that Spencer can't marry him. He's just used to Ryan being a woman most of the time, okay?? Okay. On the ride back, Brendon quietly explains to Sergeant Walker about how it's actually a sham engagement to keep Spencer's aunt from marrying him off, but he must admit to being confused by why Spencer doesn't make the engagement a real one when it's clear that he and Georgina are so in love. Maybe it is that Georgina is a Lady and unless Auntie makes Spencer her heir, Spencer is just a poor vicar's son? Perhaps Spencer feels he isn't good enough for Georgina! Sadness. Spencer probably stays silent most of the ride, then comes up next to Ryan when they've almost made it back to Auntie's and is all, "My condolences for the passing of your father." This annoys Ryan, but also pleases him. "He was a paranoid, delusional fool," he says, throat thick with unshed tears. "Not so delusional, it seems. He was right in the end, and his precautions probably did gain you several extra years of relative peace," Spencer says tentatively. He swallows and tries to keep his voice steady as he addresses the subject of real importance here. "However, now that the problem has been dealt with, those precautions are no longer necessary. And, with your father's death, you inherit his estates. They will be wanting a lord to administer them." "Why, because a woman isn't capable of doing so?" Ryan snaps, annoyed that Spencer is being so, so calm about all this. So cold. "What? No, of course not. Because that's what you are, Ryan, a Lord. Your father's trickery has served its purpose, it's time to set aside the charade and be yourself, finally." "Oh," Ryan says softly, because of course. Of course Spencer's never forgotten what Ryan actually is, even when Ryan himself does more often than not.
achika_chan:	Yes, clearly they are smitten with each other. Brendon is a romantic too and hopes they overcome the obstacles and live happily ever after. Ryan definitely forgets that he's not actually a girl a lot of the time, especially when he's around Spencer.
sekkritbandomlj:	Alas, the obstacles in Spencer's way are even greater than Brendon imagines! Not that he spends a lot of time imagining them or anything. He's busy telling Sergeant Walker all about how he daringly rescued Georgina. (Brendon knows this whole thing isn't going to work once Sergeant Walker finds out Brendon's not a woman and lose all interest in him, but he really, really wants to impress the sergeant and make him like him while he can and and YEAH!!) This is possibly because he tends to act like a girl around Spencer. In certain respects, at least.

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